Adoption Reform and Family Issues

Adoption Show on the Radio

2006-07-08T10:08:00.000-05:00

Adoption Radio Show

Here's the link to Michelle's Radio show that is on Sunday nights. It has the past 3 shows on the site. If you are pressed for time I highly recommend listening to show 2 and show 3 prior to show 1.

Adoption Radio Show

Forced to "Give Up" a Baby for Adoption

2006-07-02T16:53:00.000-05:00

My real mother cried for me as my second mother wrote out a check for my purchase.

- Forced into "Giving Up" a Baby -

"Adoptable" Newborn Babies for Sale - with Guarantees

2006-07-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

Some people claim adoption is "for the child". But adoption is really for the businesses that sell babies and for their customers.

The following letter is from years past. In modern times, the techniques used to get healthy newborns for customers have changed, but the separating of moms and babies and the baby selling continues. The buyer will inevitably rationalize why she had a "right" to kick around a mother who was single and take her baby.

Letter from the Fairmount Maternity Home

This is a letter sent to a prospective adoptive parent from the Fairmount Maternity Home in Kansas City Missouri. I am an Adoptee who was born at the Fairmount Maternity home.

This article was published in the Search of Texas Quarterly Update 11-1-52

Fairmount Maternity Hospital
Phone Harrison 4726
1414 East 27th Street Kansas City, Missouri

Mrs. (Private) 3017
(Private)] Tulsa, Oklahoma

We are pleased to advise you that we always have desirable babies for adoption. Their ages range from a few days old to several weeks, and we offer for adoption only fine, healthy babies of good parentage. We know you can make a satisfactory selection from these babies. It is necessary to fill out the enclosed application blank, return to us with three letters of reference, and $5.00 for filing fee. We will advise you when to come for the baby. Do not come until we notify you to come. But we will do our best to get a lovely baby for you at the earliest possible time. The court prefers one letter from a minister, if possible, and the other two from lawyers, doctors, bankers, or good business men. Have the letters mention both you and your husband. What the court wants to know is that you are people of good moral standing and are physically and financially able to care for your child. The adoption can be arranged in one day if desired.

The total cost of adoption, including court costs and blood test, is Forty-seven Dollars and Fifty cents($47.50) By adopting a child from this institution, you are assured of getting a healthy, normal child, which has had a thorough medical examination and has been found free from disease of every character. We also encourage you to have your family doctor make an examination, and if he finds anything irregular, return the baby to us. Trusting we may have the pleasure of brightening up your home with a little one, and that we may hear from you in the immediate future. We are.

Very Truly Yours
Fairmount Maternity Home
Eve Hill Thomson -Superintendent

The following link contains articles which provide some insight into the current exploitation of United States citizens to obtain babies for adoption, as well as the effects of separation/adoption on adoptees and on their natural family members:

Human Rights - Infant Adoption Awareness, Reproductive Technologies and the Effects on Society

What's an Adopted Person to Think?

2006-06-29T21:01:00.000-05:00

I just found this article about creating human beings using eggs from aborted fetuses and sperm from embryonic stem cells.

"By these methods, we would produce children sprung from the dead, or children whose parents were never allowed to be born, or children who resemble those who never had human faces."

"In other words, it may be possible to destroy embryos and harvest usable eggs and sperm from their tiny cellular cadavers."

"But with the eggs of an aborted fetus, the hunt for one's origins leads the child back to a void -- indeed, to a slain organism never allowed to flourish, never known in person, never mourned in death."

I know lots of adoptees who want to kick the ass of their mother/father who abandoned them. This is true even when the parents were young or single and forced by a "Christian" society to "legally abandon" their babies for "adoption" by infertile people.

But with the new baby-production techniques, there would be no mother or father with an ass to kick... some of the true parents not having made it to the stage of embryonic development to even have gills yet!

Maybe at that point, the adopted person will immediately comprehend where to place the blame - and kick the ass of the people who bought her.

Vietnamese Adoption vs. Korean Adoption

2006-06-28T18:56:00.000-05:00

I have seen few blogs or websites by adoptees from other countries outside the United States and Europe. Most of the rest were Korean adoptees. So I was particularly interested when I found a blog by an adoptee with Vietnamese origins.

She writes beautifully and expresses herself so well. And the illustrations are phenomenal. Here is the link to one post:

Vietnamese Adoptee Blog

"The subject turned to "angry adoptees" and my black humor set in. I told her maybe I should kick it up a notch lest people begin to see a limited picture of "happy Vietnamese and Chinese adoptees" as opposed to "angry Korean adoptees". Would it become like some kind of breeding thing where Korean adoptees were seen as pit-bulls and Vietnamese and Chinese adoptees were seen as lapdogs? Would adoptees be graded on their "disposition" as well as availability, ease of acquisition and cost?"

My comments (unnecessary, and perhaps unwelcome - but then again this is my blog):

Adoption is rarely about the person who was adopted (or outright purchased). It is all focused on the "neediness" of the infertile or gay baby buyer - and of course it is also about the tragically low status of women and true motherhood in many countries.

Blood Ties and Family Unity

2006-06-19T20:14:00.000-05:00

Just a little something I found interesting...

Carnelian- is a translucent to clear waxy form of quartz, it is flesh colored, or red, orange, or reddish-brown. It is the stone of integrity & a symbol of the strength & beauty of the earth. Carnelian is attributed with the ability to stimulate & to stir into action. It softens anger & disperses strife. It promotes contentment, thus it is a good stone to wear. Carnelian helps a person to develop self-control. It is a stone of blood ties & family unity since it's primary attribute is to strengthen. Ancient people accredited carnelian with currative powers & it was used in general healing.

Resource: Earth Medicine by Kenneth Meadows

Dear Birthmother Help for single, pregnant women and teenagers.

The Cruelty of Surrogacy and Human "Donations"

2006-06-14T20:52:00.000-05:00

A few blogs ago I wrote about Son of a Surrogate who was trying to explain that the "traditional surrogate" mother was his real mom and how much heartache this unnatural situation caused for the human being whose mother sold him.

Today a lady wrote who is also the child of a "traditional surrogate" (aka her real mom). I'm always startled by the depth of anger the adopted person has toward her mother - but when the mother and father both DID IT ON PURPOSE it must be FAR WORSE.

Here is the blog of the Daughter of a Surrogate

She writes:
My dad was my real dad and I was adopted by my mum. They had "hired" my real mum to get pregnant by my dad and give them me. They showed me pictures of her and told me that I had older sibs.I always fantasised that she would fly over from America and come and get me one day and say that she couldn't live without me anymore. I remember waiting for her on the front steps and looking at every blonde lady that would walk by to see if she looked like the lady in the picture. I used to think that she would come and see my recitals and plays and she would be sitting in the audience. Well it Never happened. She never came back and got me. In fact, when I found her (actually,my parents knew all along where she was and I was told the day after I turneed 18) last summer, she told me that she never considered me to be her daughter and that she was very happy to make someone else a family and that she never wanted to keep me. Lovely, isn't it. Well my childhood fantasies got shot to hell in one 10 minute phone conversation. It is always nice to hear that your mother got paid for you and never wanted you. Really Nice.

I am just looking for someone like me. Is there anybody out there in the same situation? Anyone? Please, I want to hear from you. I feel so alone and so much like a freak. Half Adopted. Umbilicly challenged. My mum never wanted me. Boofucking hoo, where is my violin. But seriously. I need to find someone like me!

Daughter of a Surrogate

Wait, there are more good posts from this

Surrogacy Blog:

Here I was born around the time of the Baby M fiasco. I have never told anyone this, but I am so jealous of Baby M. Her mum fought for her straight away. She could not bear to part with her. Why couldn't that have been me?
I almost feel as if there is something wrong with my natural mum. Like she is a few bricks short of a load. And then I look at the other two that raised me. How do you ask a woman to give you her child? Are you fucking daft? How can you sleep at night? I wonder who is crazier.

Adoptees are bastards!

2006-06-14T17:15:00.000-05:00

Yes, I DID think that title would get your attention. Most white single mothers in the United States in the 1960s were told their "adoptable" newborn children must be "given up" for adoption. Adoption was being prescribed by "professionals" - ostensibly to prevent the stigma of bastardy. But concern for insults to the children was not the real motive. (After all, the churches could have simply told everyone Jesus was a bastard and so God was clearly not opposed to bastardy...but they did not.)

What were the real motives for adoption?

"Adoption" helped to

- clean up society, "wiping out" families that were not of the family-unit family type
- avoid male consequences for sexual activity
- "save" the family's reputation

Women were treated badly, always under threat of having their children taken, if they refused to marry or get an (illegal) abortion. The mothers-to-be were often denied any information on pregnancy or childbirth and sometimes left alone during childbirth with no support and no anesthesia as a punishment. Sometimes the moms were drugged far too much during childbirth, so that they would not remember anything at all for days afterwards. Their options were severly limited. Having been interred in maternity facilities or hidden away in basements, they had no earning power during pregnancy. They had their mail censored. The babies' fathers were usually denied access to the moms and to their babies when born. Sometimes it was the grandparents who signed the papers relinquishing their daughter's parental rights. Other times, mothers were tricked into signing or threatened with involuntary termination (which would limit their future job options) if they did not sign a "voluntary" relinquishment. Sometimes the papers they signed were blank. Rarely did they have any legal representation.

Sometimes the people "hoping to adopt" got to "tour" the maternity facility and pick out the woman they would use as a "handmaiden", the servant whose job was to produce a baby for them.

The people who bought the babies were all (we're led to believe) completely satisfied with the healthy newborn bastards they purchased.

Not all babies were "chosen". The "spares" that did not get adopted were maintained in foster care or institutionalized.

Following is a link to a website on adoption by the bastards - now adult adoptees. The website provides information about the states in which mothers and "bastards" are still being denied their most fundamental human rights and civil rights.

Adoption and Adoptee Rights

How Can I Buy a Baby

2006-05-25T18:42:00.000-05:00

I found this on my website statcounter today:

"How can I buy a baby from a birthmother before or after birth"

I may be slow...but isn't it illegal to buy a human being? I know, I know...when people are infertile they DESERVE to get a baby to use. And many businesses profit from the baby-selling and baby-buying.

Sadly, while there is too little emphasis on strengthening real families, there is a lot of emphasis on getting an unrelated baby to "attach" (love the adopters).

Good grief, why don't the infertile people love the kid - even a little - and help the original family?

"How can I buy a baby from a birthmother before or after birth"

Get a CLUE, people. There is no such "thing" as a "birthmother" or incubator. There is only the mother of her own son or daughter.

Birthmothers and adoption.

I might add that "adoptable babies" was also on my statcounter. The infertiles and gays HATE to take in true orphans when they can just buy "newborn" human beings stolen from naive Christian families.

Famous Adoptees

2006-05-22T22:33:00.000-05:00

How many people will stand up for babies rights? For the right for a baby to have her own mother and family? For the right not to be removed from family (if ever so cunningly) and sold for adoption?

Here's a terrific article about Liz Phair and her stand against separating moms and babies. It's phenomenal! Thank you Liz!

Adoption - Famous People Who Were Adopted Speak Out

Liz Phair Against Adoption

May 18, 2006 3:12 p.m. EST

Felicia Willis - All Headline News Staff Writer

Los Angeles, CA (AHN) – Singer Liz Phair is said to be horrified by all of the Hollywood adoptions taking place, because according to Liz, the process "screws up" children.

The singer, who is adopted herself, believes that a baby forms a bond with the biological mother, so when the child is put up for adoption, it is emotionally damaging to the child.

Liz reveals, "I don't think you can be adopted without being a little bit screwed up, just knowing what I know from having [my son] Nick."

"I have a lot of friends who are adopting right now. These babies are going to be just eight months old, leaving their mothers who can't take care of them.

"By eight months, Nick and I were so bonded it was ridiculous. How is that going to work?

"My friends say, 'It's going to be wonderful.' I'm biting my nails, thinking, 'Do you know what you're getting into?'"

Adoption - Famous People Who Were Adopted Speak Out

I Want to Buy a Human Being NOW

2006-05-20T10:39:00.000-05:00

"I want a baby NOW" is the phrase one person typed in search engines and found one of the websites I have a statcounter on.

One can just imagine a whiney, spoiled brat demanding instant gratification. Earlier in life the brat whined "I want a $100 pair of shoes NOW", "I want a red Corvette NOW", "I want a trip to the Bahamas NOW".

Does it make any difference when the "thing" the spoiled brat hopes to obtain is not a car or pair of shoes but a human being?

Do human beings "mind" being separated from family at birth and sold? Some adoptees believe it when the baby-buyers rationalize that they "needed a baby so badly" and the adoptee's own family members "just didn't want" him/her. The adoptee sees other kids raised by their true parents who were young or single when they were born - and most of them are doing well. Yet, the adopted person may still believe what they have been told - that they would have been a "statistic" if they had been raised by their own family members. They may buy into the idea that it was right for the adoption businesses to coerce their mother into surrendering them.

One thing is for sure - with egg "donation" and sperm "donation" and rental wombs ("surrogates") there will be many more human beings sold. Then with all the "options" available, the people buying will really turn up their noses if the "product" has some imperfection.

Not only that but think of how easy it will be for the child molestation rings to get more kids to rent out to customers. And think how easy it will be for the pharmaceutical companies to get kids to use for drug testing.

Adoption and "Donation" - I want a baby NOW.

Adoption Information for "Birthmothers"

2006-05-16T16:46:00.000-05:00

Are you single and pregnant or a pregnant teenager? Is your daughter pregnant? These links will provide a good starting place for learning more information about adoption and teen parenting.

How Might Separation Affect a Mother and Her Newborn Baby? Immediately Afterwards? Years Later?

Babies Separated From Mother at Birth

Giving Up A Baby For Adoption - The Primal Wound, By Nancy Verrier

Adoption Agencies Dear Birthmother - What the Adoption Agencies Won't Tell You About Adoptees and The Truth

Mothers Separated From Their Sons and Daughters

Dear Birthmother Letters "Dear Birthmother - Is Adoption Worth the Grief?" and other adoption and parenting information.

'Birthmothers' Open Adoption Open Adoption: The Wall. "Imagine years of enduring The Wall: The random openings and closings, the unpacked weight on your shoulders, the contortion of body and soul -- all to stroke your child's hair for a single moment, gaze upon her face for an hour, play a supervised game of monopoly with him every few years, or simply receive a blurred photo of her."

"To get a good picture of the kind of family from which most domestic agencies gain "orphaned" babies, take a drive past any middle (to-upper-middle) class suburban neighborhood or college. As you drive by families barbecuing in the yard and walking their dogs, as you see women studying Calculus on the lawn -- images of babies being rescued from the throes of poverty by domestic infant adoption may start to tarnish."

Note: The National Adoption Information Clearinghouse Information website states that most of the women whose infant sons and daughters are adopted-out are white women in their 20’s. “One study at a residential facility for pregnant teens found that a disproportionate number of those who relinquished were from upper-middle-class families, living in the suburbs or small cities, and from intact families with highly educated parents (Moore & Davidson, 2002).”

Crazy Article about the Status of Motherhood

2006-05-10T19:46:00.000-05:00

Here's a crazy article about the status of motherhood.

Birthmother's Day and The Declining Status Of Motherhood

Well, lets face it - if women are only good to be used as "birthmothers" and "egg donors" they have no status as human beings....and neither do their purchased children.

Buy Your Women's Exploitation Stock Yet?

2006-05-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

Do you have stock in companies that exploit women and children? If you have medical stocks, then maybe you do.

Here are a few articles that talk about egg "donors" and how they are lured in, lied to and discarded.

Cruel cost of the human egg trade

Babies to Order

It's horrifying to think how women are being used...but even scarier to think about how a child might be affected, separated from mother and at least half of her family.

Embryo Adoption Study Flawed

Adoption - Heritage is a Human Right

"Unplanned" Pregnancy - What you don't know can hurt you and your baby

2006-05-04T19:43:00.000-05:00

"Unplanned" Pregnancy? People used to refer to the baby of single parents as a "bastard" but today they are more likely to call your baby "unplanned" and a "crisis"? Help for "Crisis" Pregnancy

When it comes to getting babies, infertile and gay people whine a lot but in reality they have many "options". They can rent a human womb, purchase human eggs and sperm and mix up a "designer" kid, implant multiple embryos and kill off the "spares", or they can just use the old standby: Purchase "professional services" designed to get customers a healthy newborn to adopt.

This Beyond Baby Tamia blog on interstate adoption and tri-state adoption shows the lengths the "professionals" will go to to get babies for customers.

From the blog on interstate adoption (baby trafficking?):

The Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (ICPC), was formed at the federal level to oversee adoptions which cross state lines.

The following is an excerpt from an Associated Press article published in the Boston Globe, 'Routinely violated by agencies': "...adoption agency attorney Richard Van Wagoner said the agreement that is supposed to coordinate the transfer of children across state lines is routinely violated by adoption agencies.

The Adoption Digger said...
You can find information on the Interstate Compact here:http://icpc.aphsa.org/

Debate - Is "Surrogacy" OUR Problem?

2006-04-28T17:03:00.000-05:00

Is "surrogacy" a problem that Americans should take an interest in and try to regulate legally?

Online are all sorts of websites telling women they should "consider surrogacy" or egg "donation". These websites claim that a woman will be an "angel" for making a baby for others to use. Sometimes a health magazine or women's magazine may feature egg "donation" as the subject of an article - but I've never seen these articles say one word opposed to these unnatural methods of getting babies for people.

There is also "reproductive tourism" to the United States from other countries. Imagine America being "known for" not protecting vulnerable citizens from exploitation.

Some say the only issue with egg "donation" and "traditional surrogacy" is that women are being exploited in a horrendous way, as if they are not human beings who might (probably will) wake up some day and realize their own child is out there somewhere. Or that siblings might find it all bewildering and upsetting to have a brother or sister sold.

It is not for the sellers, buyers or brokers of human beings that I write - it for the human being that may be donated or sold.

Most Americans believe a baby "won't know the difference" if she is removed from family and raised by unrelated people. Following are links to two articles that I think will be of interest to Americans who might have the decency to speak out against "traditional surrogacy" and egg "donation":

Child of a "Surrogate" Mother

The Son of a Surrogate

Well I'm here

to remind you

of the mess you left

when you went away

It's not fair

to deny me

Of the cross I bear

that you gave to me

You Oughta Know!

Embryo Adoption Study Flawed

p.s. Words are misleading - It's not really "surrogacy" or "adoption". With so-called "traditional surrogacy" the baby buyer is the "surrogate mother" and the woman being used as baby-production equipment is the child's true mother. And where "adoption" is concerned, producing a baby on purpose intending to "orphan" her artificially is very different from adopting a "waiting child".

International Adoption Book by Adult Adoptees

2006-04-23T18:04:00.000-05:00

Adopted "children" grow up...with insights into their experiences. Was adoption "best" for the child? Here's one book on inter-country adoption that looks VERY interesting:

Adopting a Baby?

I love the book cover with the white person's hand picking up a "doll" to "adopt" - er, that is, picking up a human being to buy...

I bet few Americans can even begin to comprehend why it's wrong to buy a human being. Or how to help keep family together, not separate them to get a baby.

Too Cool - Adoptee Website

2006-04-06T21:15:00.000-05:00

This is by far one of the most expressive, honest, enlightened adoptee website I have seen...although I'm willing to bet there are others.

http://www.stephenfitzpatrick.com/adoption/

Few adoptees state clearly that they have only ONE mother...and that is why her motherhood should have been supported instead of the adoption businesses!

Adoptee View of Adoption

Here's one excerpt:

"In America, around six babies are lost to adoption every hour . In Australia, it is around six babies a month . This is an amazing disparity. .......Perhaps six adoptions in a country of twenty million are six too many, perhaps not. Six every hour, however, is a testament to humanity’s choosing the easy way out, at least superficially. Short sighted decisions, quick profit, never mind the long term problems created by it. It is a testament to how far removed we are from truth and compassion, and how much we have bought into manipulative mind games, and allowed our self fulfilling judgments of other people to cloud our decisions."

There's LOTS more. About the lies inherent in the twisted adoptive situation and even some ideas for caring for children who do need care...without lies and falsified birth certificates and fake identities.

"In America, around six babies are lost to adoption every hour . In Australia, it is around six babies a month . This is an amazing disparity. "

How did motherhood sink so low in America, that now mothers are not considered essential to their babies, but merely "useful" as a source of babies for adoption?

And this description is so .... sad, but honest:

"Adoptees have become rather expert at hiding their suffering. We have learnt that adapting to our surroundings is a survival necessity. Sitting in the grass, we appear to be green and swimming in the sea we could dissolve into the wave, just in order to survive. We do not have a sense of self, because the safety of our origins was never allowed to grow within us. Our genesis, our growth is stunted, and emotionally we are all handicapped. Our lives are fraught with an anxiety that bears no relationship to the reality around us. Once, at the beginning of our lives, it did. It had a purpose. It was something, had we been able to express ourselves, that would have warned us that something was not ok. The anxiety would have spoken to us and led us back to our truth. But our consciousness was not developed, and so the anxiety was repressed and had to take on a subconscious life form which grew with every day, constantly trying to be heard, constantly needing to be pushed back down in order for us to survive. It is an anxiety that sees rejection and abandonment in everything that crosses its path. In its worst, blackest, moment the fear speaks of death and the feeling of being cut off from everything, being so separate and different to everything that we see, that we cannot possibly belong to this world and everything in it. We are outsiders, strangers in our own body. We are denied the basic right of feeling comfortable inside our own skins."

"Just Bitter" Accusations - Used To Silence the Truth?

2006-04-02T09:52:00.000-05:00

To the person who left this comment: "So tell us your story and why you are so bitter? Children are indeed a blessing from God. In this fallen and imperfect world God blesses who he will... " etc.

Thanks for asking. To your first question, consider this: Some people probably called the Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) moms "bitter" at first to try to silence them. But a person who drives drunk is putting others in danger and if there are ways to prevent drunk driving then that is the right thing to do.

The person who buys or sells healthy infants for adoption is also putting others in danger - and if there are ways to prevent this then that is the right thing to do...do you agree? If you have adopted a baby yourself then you know how the adopted baby cries for her mother and goes through depression and has many identity and loss issues throughout her life. The real mom and grandparents have no way of knowing how their little relative is doing, because they do not see their baby crying and sad, pulling away from the adoptive stranger. Everyone told the mom her baby needed unrelated caregivers and didn't need her - THIS IS A LIE and it's not a small fib. Hospitals today try to keep moms and babies together to prevent the harm that comes from separating them.

What if a surgeon told you you needed your kidney out - because he knew it was healthy and he intended to get it for someone else to use? Would you accept it if people later said you were "just bitter" because he had done this to you? How much more serious is it to take and "transplant" a living person's son, daughter or grandchild than to "transplant" a living person's kidney by fraulent, unethical means?

To your second point: "God blesses who he will.." NO KIDDING. God chooses parents. Children are a blessing from God to their actual mother, father and family. If the healthy newborn child of a young, less affluent, or single mother was "meant" by God to be raised by infertile people or gay people, then surely Jesus would have been removed from his very young, less affluent, single mother Mary for this purpose. A baby is not intended by God to be "donated" by her mother or father, nor is a human being meant to be sold by an agency or adoption attorney, or bought by infertile people or gay people.

Unfortunately, Christians have been advised by those in power that they must not acknowledge or help single moms or dads, that some newborn children must be treated like (and sometimes called) "bastards" or "the baby" or "it".

This attitude leads to abortion as well as getting babies for adoption, does it not? It leads to males taking advantage of women sexually and then abandoning their children, because males are being given the message that there are no male "consequences". Promoting "adoption" as "normal" has also led to businesses selling human beings through sperm "donation", egg "donation", "surrogacy" and other means. But just image how the person who was "donated" or sold by his mother or father must feel about it!

Rather than just imagine, why not read it yourself but clicking on Child of a 'Surrogate" Mother. Son of a surrogate.

Which would God prefer? Supporting orphans - or preventing children from becoming orphans in the first place?

If you can't see how this works in America, look at Korea and how they treat women and keep their baby factories going in order to get babies to export. It's a tragedy...but how can Korea stop when their "friends" like the United States keep demanding babies? They cannot protect their citizens from bullies.

The naive moms and dads in America deserve to know the truth. Adoption is not normal. A baby needs her true mother and family. If Americans did not have healthy infants to buy, MAYBE they would begin to help the true orphans.

Articles about giving up hope and "giving up" a baby for adoption.

"Birth" Mother "Changing Her Mind"

2006-04-01T08:35:00.000-06:00

A baby knows her mother. Her mother is her whole world. She longs for her mothers heartbeat, her mother's smell, her mother's milk. She feels comforted in her mother's arms.

Yet, so many people speak of it as if it were a crisis if a mother who has recently given birth, sees or holds her beautiful son or daughter and wants to keep and nurture her baby herself.

When telling of the "crisis" people ususally refer to the mother by the derrogatory term "birthmother". "Birthmother" is the term the adoption industry has promoted to hide the reality that this is the beautiful baby's own mother and parent. By contrast the people hoping to get the baby are referred to as "adoptive parents" or "parents" even though they may have no children at all.

It may seem harsh, but it is simply a fact: People who have not reproduced are not "parents" - they are certainly not parents to a child that has a mother or father already.

A mother has a right to keep her baby safe, to keep her baby with her. In fact, she has a real responsibility to her child, just as the baby's father does. If the father abandons his baby, it is not the mother who should be kicked around and called a "birthmother", "just biological" or an "egg donor" - labels which many of the so-called "loving" adoptive "parents" like to use. (Why not just call a mother a "nigger" or an "incubator"?)

The father himself should not be called a "birthfather" or "FOB" (father of the baby) as adoption agencies like to refer to the dads. He needs to be called "Dad" and expected to take responsibility. Those fathers who do take reponsibility should be lauded, not encouraged to abandon their children.

When a mother or father decides to take responsibility for their child (even when they previously thought they might give in to societal expectations of relinquishment) they are not "changing their mind". If the parent has signed nothing, or if they were coerced, or if the revocation period is not passed, then NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO KEEP THEIR BABY FROM THEM.

"Adoption" is touted as "best for the child" - but infant adoption is really just separating families and getting healthy newborn human beings to sell to desperate infertile people or gay people.

Infant Adoption Brochures

Weird? "Birthmother" Jewelry

2006-03-27T20:58:00.000-06:00

For those who don't already about it, there is a new "holiday" being promoted by the adoption industry. It is called "Birthmother's Day". "Birthmother's Day" is intended to "thank" living mothers for "donating" "adoptable" sons and daughters to the adoption businesses, where they can be sold to customers.

Sometimes the adoptive baby-buyers even know the moms. They ply them with "birthmother" jewelry and gifts and try to make the moms think they are "equals" in this situation.

The "adopted" child is not a true orphan and the mom - and her precious child - are being used in the most horrendous way.

When I saw the term "birthmother jewelry" it reminded me of pictures I saw in Playboy of women hanging like ornaments from a Christmas tree. Objects. Playthings. Disposable.

"Birthmothers Day" - just imagine trying to "thank" mothers for being forced or conned into surrendering their babies to adoption.

Battlefield Propaganda - Adoption Brochures and Pamphlets

2006-03-25T07:38:00.000-06:00

Probably every conflict is fought on at least two grounds: the battlefield and the minds of the people via propaganda.

The battle to "wipe out" families that are not of the "family-unit" family type is no different than other battles. The adoption industry publishes a LOT of propaganda, in "Infant Adoption Awareness" program pamplets as well as disguised as "news" stories. Naive and vulnerable families' babies are taken for re-distribution. The "professionals" pat themselves on the back for the "charitable" work of separating living families to get healthy infants for infertile people to adopt.

The true orphan who is older sits on the sidelines, perhaps wondering why people who adopt babies are referred to as "loving" when it is obvious they are only self-serving.

It all starts with propaganda - adoption industry propaganda.

The adoption industry acknowledges that a child is at greater risk with an unrelated step-parent in the house. Yet with their sleight-of-hand they somehow get all of society to "forget" that the adopted child has TWO unrelated caregivers who are not her real parents - and a whole "family" that is equivalent to step-family.

The child who is adopted lost her mother and family ... it is a very traumatic thing for an infant to be separated from mother.

Are you a pregnant mother-to-be? You may find this adoption pamplet cuts through the propaganda to help you make an informed decision: Considering Adoption - Things I Wish I Had Known

"Dear Birthmother "? Is a child "better off" separated from family and "sold"? It's a sad day when the "rights" of the infertile, the gay, and the adoption industry trump the rights of a baby to her own mother, father and family. It's a sad day when adoption and infertility businesses are given full reign to distribute their propaganda and make money by selling babies and the raw materials to make "orphans".

Dear Birthmother - How much to adopt a baby?

2006-03-19T16:47:00.000-06:00

A woman I know is 42 years old and was surprised to discover she was "with child" - her first. She told me that the medical professionals all suggested she "consider adoption". And when she went to charities for help, she was told she was a "sinner" and must give her baby up. No this was not 30 years ago - it was LAST WEEK.

She was devastated at the lack of help for a somewhat depressed mother-to-be and decided to "consider adoption". So first she "considered" the "Dear Birthmother" letters on-line with the photographs of all the big fancy houses and the rediculously large lawns. She was disgusted, but still she was unsure what to do. She had the foresight to call adoption businesses and ask how much adopting a baby costs. The answer she got was $25,000.

Hmm. I wonder sometimes if the price goes up based on the prospective adopter's demands: healthy, white, newborn, NOW, please! Before my wife divorces me!

Some babies go for less. For example, Catholic Charities has "bargain basement" babies. But they still separate the real families and get healthy infants for infertile people. So, all in all, what's the difference? Maybe they check out the adopting people more carefully, maybe they don't. Either way, a kid loses his mother and family.

Dear Birthmother - Is Adoption Worth the Grief?

Can I relinquish my adopted child but not my related child?

2006-03-18T11:07:00.000-06:00

"Can I relinquish my adopted child without relinquishing my biological child?" is one question that was typed into the search engines.

It's often the case when infertile people adopt they discover that the adopted child is no replacement for real family. Then, they just keep on trying to have their own child. If they finally have their own child they may have no use for the adopted child anymore. It's a tragedy for the child and a tragedy for the mother who was (most likely) forced to "give" her up.

Nevertheless, if someone adopts and then finds themself in the position of no longer wanting their adopted child, what should they do about it? Keep the child around and try to "be nice"? Send her to boarding school? Put her into an institution? Dump her into foster care?

I think the best solution to this problem is to find the child's mother - her real mother - and get them acquainted. The child's mother may be financially able to care for her child a few years after surrender. If not, perhaps they can do what might have been done in the first place - find her some resources to help her out a little until she is able to take over 100%.

"Can I relinquish my adopted child without relinquishing my biological child?" is one question that was typed into the search engines. What a tragedy. I can't help but think these people should be forced to relinquish their true child - just to see what it feels like.

Why "Dear Birthmother" Solicitation to Obtain Babies for Adoption Must Be Outlawed

Women - When Should We NOT Forgive Others?

2006-03-16T07:25:00.000-06:00

In China, mothers are often forced to abandon their daughters at birth. The societal pressure to have a boy child is tremendous. Forcing women into the horrendous "choice" of abandoning their child shows the low status of women in China.

In America, mothers are sometimes forced to legally abandon their sons and daughters at or soon after birth. The societal pressure for the mother to take sole responsibility for her child is tremendous. Forcing single mothers into the horrendous "choice" of abandoning their child shows the low status of women and children in America. It is usually parents or other family members that enforce the societal norm, naively believing they are doing something good for their daughter and grandchild.

The family members are advised by "experts" whose goals are as follows:

1) Ensure continuation of a "system" where males need take no responsibility for pregnancy prevention or for any children born to them.

2) Destroy instances of family that are not of the "family unit" type. That means people whose marriages are not "blessed by God" must be provided with babies and families who have a baby born to a single mother must be forced to "give" their babies up.

3) Make money. For the adoption business, getting $25,000 for a "product" they don't even have to produce themselves is not bad. A healthy white newborn sells for more, a "defective" or older "product" sells for less.

4) Achieve "angel" status by "facilitating" family separation to obtain healthy babies for adoption customers.

Some "experts" say children are "better off" separated from family, living with unrelated caregivers. While puppies in America get to stay with their mothers until they are sufficiently mature, babies in America are rountinely separated from their naive mothers as soon as possible after birth. Later, if there are any problems, the "experts" can just drug the kids.

Some "experts" say that a woman who goes through nine months of pregnancy is not a mother - she is only a "birthmother" (aka "birth oject") meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption. The people who buy babies are referred to by the misleading term "parents" even before the transaction is complete.

Some "experts" say the moms should later forgive the people/entities who "guided" them towards surrendering their precious sons and daughters. When these people/entities acknowledge the heartache and suffering they cause mother and child it is easy to forgive. When they are just naive, it may still be possible and desirable to forgive.

But if those who separated family members know this practice is harmful and still engage in this abusive practice, then there is the question of HOW MUCH ABUSE should one "class" of person take from another person or from the societal "system"?

Should women in China simply say "I forgive" and watch the continuing abuse of their sisters and their sisters daughters?

The mother whose child has been taken for use by infertile people is supposed to be a "better person" than others in society. She is supposed to be more loving, more considerate of others. Most importantly, the mother is supposed to be invisible (like any "good" servant or slave).

Women - when should we not forgive others? No woman (or any other entity) should support the continuing family devastation wrought by "Infant Adoption Awareness Training", and the devastation caused by "professionals" and individuals soliciting vulnerable mothers-to-be to try to get a healthy baby for adoption.

Catholics - Will They Finally Help Single-Parent Families?

2006-03-10T14:40:00.000-06:00

The news from Boston is that Catholic Charities has ended it's adoption program because it is required by law to allow gay people to adopt (buy?) babies.

WOW, THAT'S GREAT NEWS.

If no one can buy babies in Boston, then MAYBE some Christian SOMEWHERE will decide to provide a little kindly assistance to the real families.

Catholic Charities, while you are refusing to separate families to get babies for gay people, why not stop separating families to get babies for infertile people? Infertile people are not "blessed" by God...why did God not "bless" them? Infertility often has a "sinful" origin, such as STDs, infection following abortion, obesity, substance use/abuse, or putting wealth first and delaying pregnancy too long. The infertile are not "angels" nor are they "gods" to which single-parent families should be sacrificed. They are just human beings.

Males - Pregnancy Without Consequences?

2006-03-09T15:52:00.000-06:00

"Dear Dad: Why did you abandon me?"

It has long been believed by (some or most?) males in America that they should be able to have sex without any responsibility for pregnancy prevention - and without the risk of any responsibility for their sons and daughters. They want NO MALE CONSEQUENCES.

People debate "adoption vs. abortion" - a debate which limits a woman's options to ONLY those options which will have no consequences for the male. While women may suffer horrendously from losing a son or daughter to adoption or suffer from an unwanted abortion - and while children suffer horribly from abandonment - males want NO RESPONSIBILITY and NO CONSEQUENCES.

I have yet to hear a man say "PLEASE let me stay over" and include with it a phrase such as "are you protected or should I come prepared?" When I ask males in response to their pleading for sex "What would you do if the birth control failed and I became pregnant?" the response is "You can just get an abortion." or "You can do whatever YOU want to about it".

And now there's the highly irresponsible National Center for Men's Voluntary Fatherhood Project which is trying to make it possible for dads to "opt out" of fatherhood.

"Dear Dad: Why did you abandon me?" is the question a child might very well ask. The child does not care WHAT the circumstances of his birth were - he wants to have his father be there for him.

Even some of the "open" adoption websites are saying "a child needs his birthfather". (Translated into honest English the phrase means "a child needs his actual father, an adoptive role model cannot take his place".)

When a child is born, his father is his father. There is no "choice". From the child's perspective, you may be a cruel and heartless abandoning father, but there is NO "opting-out" of fatherhood, Dad.

National Center for Men's Voluntary Fatherhood Project? It should be called the "Center for Irresponsible Fatherhood".

We got a baby now

2006-03-06T23:52:00.000-06:00

I run into an old friend at the hardware store. "We've got a baby," he tells me. "We are fixing up the house and planning to move." He has been married two years. He seems so proud. Later I wonder whether he really said, "We GOT a baby." It seems so innocent. But it is so sinister. Taking the naive or pressured young mom away from her baby so you can pretend you reproduced.

Yes, sadly...he bought ("ADOPTED") a newborn baby. I wonder how her real mother is faring...and how the poor "orphan" baby is faring, too.

Adoption - Like Buying a Puppy

2006-03-06T23:00:00.000-06:00

Anyone can buy a puppy. People who are mentally ill, elderly, obese. ANYONE. But should just anyone be allowed to buy a baby?

On adoption.con there is a an article about how "unfair" it is that extremely obese people are sometimes turned away by adoption agencies (those rare adoption agencies that actually care a little bit about kids and don't sell them to just anyone). There is another article on adoption.con about by a woman who is mentally ill and managed to adopt anyway. If a real mom or dad had bi-polar disorder - even if it were controlled by medication - the social workers would eagerly snatch their child (healthy newborn, particularly) away. But when infertile or gay people have bi-polar disorder, they claim are being "discriminated against" if they can't buy the next baby off the assembly line. (Babies are manufactured on assembly lines, aren't they?)

The truth is, babies should not be separated from mom, dad and family just to meet the need of the infertile or gay. No person "deserves" to get a baby to use. When mom and dad are both deceased, and when grandparents and other family members are also deceased or unwilling to care for their beautiful decendant, the best person for the child should be found. NOT the most infertile, moneyed or deceptively friendly person.

Not the obese, not the mentally ill, not the desperate. Because adopting a baby is NOT like buying a puppy.

Adoption - Buying the Best Human Product

2006-03-05T08:54:00.000-06:00

In United States, people can buy human eggs and sperm and rent a womb to produce a baby for them. Or they can queue up to buy a baby that is already "in production". Before the child is born - before it is certain she will be orphaned - they have already made a down-payment. Those with money cut ahead in line, by hiring an agency that may actually "guarantee" them a healthy newborn. "Infant Adoption Awareness Training" has been instituted, to try to get more newborn babies away from family for customers.

In the 1980's, the concept of "wrongful adoption" became a reality. With "wrongful adoption", the "customer" could sue the adoption business for selling them a "defective" product, without telling them about the defects. (As far as I know the actual family cannot sue the adoption business for lying about the "loving" adopting people who turned out to be "good married Catholic" mobsters - or maybe even members of a satanic cult. Perhaps the adopted child (adult adoptee) can sue if he discovers he is not at all "better off" with infertile people than with family?)

Now, from the American College of Medical Genetics:
http://www.acmg.net/resources/policies/pol-017.asp

"There have been reports from geneticists that prospective adoptive and adoption agencies are requesting a wider range of genetic tests before, during, or immediately after the adoption process. It is possible that certain children who are determined to have various harmful or undesirable genetic predispositions or characteristics will have a difficult time being adopted or, if adopted, will be treated differently by adoptive ."

Whatever happened to the "loving" adopter who could love a child as much as real parents do? Today, some of the adopters get adopter welfare payments (subsidies) and much more. The "adoption" is really just another orphanage for some of these hurting kids - except the kids don't get any sympathy for their plight. Instead they are expected by society to show some sort of loyalty to the people who run the orphanage.

Adoption - Unrelated People Potential Abusers?

2006-03-03T18:51:00.000-06:00

Two book suggestions:

"A Death in White Bear Lake" by Barry Siegel, a true chronicle of a mom who was forced to surrender her precious newborn son - and then the adoptive woman killed him slowly and painfully.

"Ten Thousand Sorrows" by Elizabeth Kim, a Korean war baby cruelly ostracized by the "loving" people in her community winds up in the hands of American "Christians".

If you have been reading this blog for very long, you know all about federally-funded "Infant Adoption Awareness Training". The US government pushes to get healthy infants separated from family to fill the "needs" of unrelated people hoping to adopt a newborn baby. The actual family (or child's country) is told their precious newborn son or daughter will be "better off" adopted. Many naive middle-class parents and grandparents fall for the crazy idea that if they are single they would be "selfish" to keep their "adoptable" newborn relative with the family.

Just why is it that people believe a baby is "better off" separated from the mother she clings to? Just why do they believe their child will be "better off" with unrelated caregivers, or in a foreign country?

When people adopt, they have to work to get the adopted child to "attach". When the child does not "attach" it may really infuriate them if they are infertile - they have been told the child will be "just like" their own.

There are so many reports of adopting people abusing the kids. Denigrating their heritage and family, preventing escape attempts, caging them or worse.

Religious people often believe we MUST treat single moms-to-be like dirt, to get them to surrender their newborn son or daughter right after birth, before they even have a chance together.

But we surely don't need to subject more babies - who might simply have gone home from the hospital happily with mom - to the risks of infant adoption.

"Stillborn" babies adopted in Wyoming

2006-03-02T18:20:00.000-06:00

Here's an interesting excerpt from a newborn baby adoption website:

"Did you give birth in Rawlins, Wyoming during the late1960's or early 1970's?

Were you told that your baby was stillborn or that he/she died at birth or shortly after?

If your answer is yes to these questions, or if you know someone that this applies to, please contact us"

and the website is at

http://www.babytheft.org/

Get Money to Buy a Baby

2006-02-23T18:15:00.000-06:00

Someone has posted on ebay to try to get people to bid for the "opportunity" to name the baby they plan to adopt. All proceeds go toward getting the baby.

This is rather odd. Most real parents would not sell the opportunity to name their offspring - for any amount. It would be like selling your child's first steps or her first words. You might miss the opportunity to see her first steps - but selling this opportunity would be just wrong. Most parents would work to support their child, not exploit their child for money to meet their own objectives.

Of course, the people hoping to buy a baby are not the real parents of the baby. Not many normal people would think to buy a baby in the first place.

When there are few real orphans to be found who are young and healthy enough to be desirable for adoption, adoption becomes a fantastic business opportunity. Infant adoption is obviously NOT about taking in an orphan. Most true orphans go for free. The babies being sold have family, though the family may be naive or pressured - or the baby outright stolen.

I hope few people will bid on this adoptive name-selling and baby-buying. It's despicable separating babies from the naive or vulnerable mothers and family members that love them -- especially when the babies are being sold to people who don't even love "their" baby enough to name her themselves.

dolls for adoption

"Stolen Lives" Book Review

2006-02-15T20:25:00.000-06:00

"Stolen Lives" by Malika Oufkir is really inspirational - a real triumph over adversity for a family that spent 20 years in prison from the time the youngest was only three years old.

But "Stolen Lives" is also an incredibly honest book about adoption, about how the powerful treat the powerless. The child is no orphan, and her family is not destitute...they are wealthy, in fact. But like most adopting people, this adopter has his own motives and does not mind separating a family. He sees a cute little girl and wants to use her as a playmate for his daughter - and he's the King, so her parents can't very well say "no".

"Stolen Lives" by Malika Oufkir.

If you are an adoptee - or have lost a family member to adoption - then check this book out. Hell, if you are anybody, then check this book out. Because there's a lot more to this book than I've just told you. "Stolen Lives" is really inspirational - a real triumph over adversity.

adoption perspectives

Adoption - Obligation is not Love

2006-02-06T18:03:00.000-06:00

In adoption, the child grows up and may spend many hours wondering: "Who am I"? As an adult she may feel "obligated" to the people who raised her, when she (seemingly) had no one who cared about her. But did someone care? She could find her mother and father and siblings - but then what would the adopting people say? Doesn't she have an obligation to them?

An obligation is not love, guilt is not loyalty.

If the adopting people care about her, they will be happy for her when she finds her family. If they do not care about her even that much - THEN WHY SHOULD SHE CARE ABOUT THEM? Adoption was advertised as being "for the child" and it's time the "child" (adult adoptee) did what is right for her, caring for her own needs and not concerning herself with pleasing others.

An obligation is not love, guilt is not loyalty.

Another Honest Adoption Movie

2006-02-01T19:00:00.000-06:00

"Gone to a Good Home" is probably the most honest documentary on adoption - ever. Set in Australia, it shows how mothers there were interred in maternity "homes" and families had their "adoptable" infants abducted by the state.

For more information on how to obtain a copy - and a listing of other adoption movies click on adoption movies. People can never have too much information about adoption - the "civilized" version of stoning.

Loggerheads - Movie for Those who Care

2006-01-13T18:53:00.000-06:00

Loggerheads...is the name of a movie for those who truly care about children - and could care less about whether infertile people can get a healthy infant "of their dreams" and pretend to be "blessed by God".

Other than the fact that the mother whose child is taken for adoption is referred to as a "birthmother" (rather than the mother of her "legally" abducted child) ....

this appears to be a very good movie.

http://www.loggerheadsmovie.com/

Is a child "better off" with infertile people than with his own family? Do infertile or gay people have a "right" to get a baby to use?

Sadly, most Americans seem to favor family separation...very few of the babies adopted are real orphans.

Infant Adoption...Infant Adoption...Infant Adoption

HELL

Unplanned Pregnancy Help

2006-01-11T21:11:00.000-06:00

Many people in America believe there is no such thing as family. It is believed that anything approximating "family" is just the same as the real thing, whether babies are puchased via sperm "donation", egg "donation" or infant adoption. Thus mothers are encouraged not to be mothers and fathers encouraged not to be fathers. In general, family separation is considered to be desirable. That is because there are so many people who are infertile or gay - because there is such a large market for babies...

If you are pregnant and feel pressured, remember this: Mary, the mother of Jesus was a single mother. She was less affluent. She was a very young teenager. Yet Mary was honored as the mother of her son, not dishonored as a "birthmother".

Unplanned Pregnancy Help

not adoption!

Keep your baby!

Adoption and Unrelated Caregivers

2006-01-11T17:21:00.000-06:00

According to the adoption businesses, a baby or small child who is removed from her own family - and provided to people who are (usually) infertile or gay - gains a "forever family" that will love her "just like their own". That is how they advertise for adoption, anyway. The people adopting are promoted as "angels" - as if they were superhuman, superstars. But in reality, the people who adopt are often less than enamored with a child that is - after all - NOT their actual offspring. Meanwhile, the real family may very much want and love their child, but be naive or else poor.

Take a look at this story of adoption gone wrong. (In addition to the abuse and neglect, it sounds as if these adopters are getting monthy adoption subsidies and using the kids as a source of income.)

When you look at reports of abuse in the news, it almost seems like it is 50/50 adopters/natural parents. But when you consider there are a much higher percentage of natural parents than adoptive parents, you have to wonder. Might some of these kids have been better off if someone had just helped the real family?

In United States, it's a real taboo to mention that people who adopt are unrelated to "their" children. I think it's time people faced the truth about adoption. A child who has family that loves her and wants to care for her does not need to be adopted.

powerful one-woman show

2006-01-04T21:17:00.000-06:00

A one-woman show of powerful images, narratives and music about the "unwed mothers" of past generations who were forced to surrender their babies to adoption. by Celeste Billhartz. Click on Mothers Project Concert to learn more!"

Evil - Fantasy or Reality?

2006-01-01T11:18:00.000-06:00

In the fantasy movie "Narnia", the witch - disguised as a queen - lures in the unsuspecting boy and tries to get him to deliver his relatives into her control, for her use.

Evil comes in many disguises. But most Americans would agree that convincing people to turn their family members over to strangers for their use is evil.

Strangers frequently masquerade as "friends". No where is this more true than in infant adoption (and egg or sperm "donor" situations). Convincing a mother that she would be "selfish" to keep her family together does nothing to help true orphans. Hiring "professionals" to do the convincing for you is no better. Yet in infant adoption, people who would never dream of harming a puppy by taking him away from his mother before he is sufficiently mature nevertheless are eager to take a human baby away from his naive or pressured mother.

Considering infant adoption? Effects on babies separated from their mothers for adoption.

Pure evil. It's not just a fantasy.

25 Years Later - Who's the Real Father?

2005-12-28T09:34:00.000-06:00

Pregnancy doesn't end at birth. A baby is born and then grows, eventually becoming an adult. In the meantime, there may be a divorce or an adoption or some relative that attempts to be a replacement for an absent father.

As time goes on, even if she loves her replacement "father" it may become painfully obvious how much your child misses having her (or his) natural father.

But when your daughter connects up later with her father and paternal siblings it may be quite an adjustment for your side of her family. As in the "prodigal son" story in the Bible, where the siblings became jealous of their father's welcoming of the wayward long-lost son, the mother's side of the family may become jealous when a daughter welcomes her (wayward?) long-lost father and paternal siblings.

Will she have both her father and her step-father attending her wedding? Will they behave decently and make it a beautiful day for her? Or will they ensure that she regrets she was ever born?

Make your daughter's (or son's) wedding and event to remember FONDLY not with regret. A good parent is there for their child (later adult child) and rejoices to see her re-connect with the family members she has lost.

Societal Desires or Biblical Truth?

2005-12-26T07:04:00.000-06:00

The commandment is simple: Honor thy father and thy mother.

But the the words "father" and "mother" have become watered down in our society to mean only a legal relationship. Is a person still supposed to honor one's true mother and father, as Moses did when he returned to his people? Or must a person honor unrelated people the government designates "mothers" and "fathers"?

Today one's actual father or mother may be known as "donor" or "just" biological or "birth". This is through no fault of the child (later adult). Being unnaturally separated from half - or all of - her true family was not her choice. She was bought as sperm, eggs or via a "surrogate". Perhaps she was "donated" as an embryo. Perhaps her mother was forced to surrender her for adoption. Scientists or professionals profitted. The "recipient parents" profitted. In cases of egg or sperm "donation" the actual mother or father profitted from the sale of his/her offspring. It is simple economics: people who are infertile "need" babies and brokers supply the raw materials and mechanisms to make them. The "donors" are mislead and told they will be "angels" for aiding the infertile.

It's profitable. The government permits and even encourages all sorts of unnatural situations which deny the created child ordinary access to true family. They deny the child the security of natural belonging.

Legally, the words "father" and "mother" no longer refer to a person's actual father or mother, but does it change the intent of the commandment?

The word "gay" used to mean happy, now it means homosexual. Just imagine if the Bible had a commandment to "Thou shalt be gay" and subsequently the meaning of the word "gay" changed. Would people today naively believe it meant they were commanded to be homosexual? I suppose it might depend whether there were lobbyists promoting it and a profit to be made.

Adopted or "donated" and want to find your people? Follow Moses lead: You have a right to know and honor your father and mother, to lead yourself and your people out of slavery. God has commanded it.

Lazy Americans "Just" Adopt

2005-12-22T09:24:00.000-06:00

It's a hassle to clean your own carpets, and thus you hire "the carpet guy". It's no fun changing the oil in your car, so there's the oil changing place. It can be burdensome caring for your kids, so there's the nanny.

But more and more Americans today say it's no fun to be pregnant - or to support their wife through a pregnancy - so they got themselves fixed, making themselves sterile on purpose. But they still want more kids. Next time they will "just adopt" a baby.

Once they have found and acquired that perfect baby, they will immediately claim to be the "real" parents. Of the child's own mother they will say "What did she ever do besides just give birth?" as if pregnancy and childbirth were nothing, when in fact it was more of an effort than they were willing to put forth.

Today adoption attorneys and adoption agencies are eager to assist those who "just don't want to be bothered" with a pregnancy. It's easy to take advantage of parents and grandparents experiencing a surprise pregnancy. Families who keep their own children and grandchildren and care for them are being labelled as selfish and irresponsible. Mothers-to-be are "counselled" toward adoption.

Some people even claim there is an "adoption revolution" whereby it is "out of style" to actually reproduce.

The child that is a "chip off the old block" and just fits in to his family naturally is becoming rarer. Instead, experts assist new "parents" in getting an unrelated baby to "attach".

What is a Father?

2005-12-15T18:59:00.000-06:00

What is a father? What is a mother? What are grandparents and siblings?

According to the US government, there is no such thing as a son or daughter or any relative - unless the state considers the relationship "legal". Last week a mother wrote to me, distraught because her young adult son committed suicide. His brand new baby had been taken for use in adoption. While some people believe that a mother gets "a choice" about adoption, it is fairly obvious that an "illegal" (single) father gets no choice, if the mother or her parents are disposed toward "adoption".

"Adoption" means family separation. Family separation is no small thing.

We have so many businesses and churches advertising for "adoption" - and they are not talking about babies whose mothers and fathers have died or are "unfit". Mothers are told they will be "angels" or "heros" for making their babies available for the market. They are promised "open" adoption to lure them in. They are told they would be "selfish" to take responsibility for their child, that their parents won't want to help them raise their grandchild. They are advised to think only of the happiness of the people hoping to get a baby. It is easy to take advantage of a mother who is pregnant or recovering from birth and they are eager to do so.

What is a father? According to the government, "fatherhood" is something that can be bought. According to the government, the person who sires a child is just a "biological thing". I hope one day this adopted baby will learn the truth. Her father was not a "biological thing" and he did not abandon her. He fought for her in court. He is her Father.

Help Reunite Family - Sign Petition

2005-12-04T17:41:00.000-06:00

I posted this before but discovered the link to the petition did not work for everybody. If you wish to sign please try again. No American family should be permanently separated by the "system" without cause...

Do you recall Sonja DeVivo the mom whose youngest "adoptable" daughter was taken by the state of Missouri? AFTER Ms. DeVivo proved herself to be a "fit" parent, her parental rights were terminated and her daughter was put up for adoption.

Here is her story:

http://www.exiledmothers.com/speaking_out/asfa_1997.htm

She is still trying to get her daughter back. Please read about the case and add your name to the petition.

To add your name to this petition go to:

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/559465691?ltl=1133739482

or

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/559465691

(If the link doesn't work, then cut and paste the link into the address bar)

Please forward this to other groups and people you know.

Petition to Reunite Family

2005-12-03T10:19:00.000-06:00

Do you recall Sonja DeVivo the mom whose youngest "adoptable" daughter was taken by the state of Missouri? AFTER Ms. DeVivo proved herself to be a "fit" parent, her parental rights were terminated and her daughter was put up for adoption.

Here is her story:

http://www.exiledmothers.com/speaking_out/asfa_1997.htm

She is still trying to get her daughter back. Please read about the case and if you agree, then add your name to the petition.

To add your name to this petition go to:

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/559465691

(If the link doesn't work, then cut and paste the link into the address bar)

Please forward this to other groups and people you know.

"DNR-NK" - Is This Pro-Life?

2005-11-09T16:03:00.000-06:00

"Pro-Life" has such a nice sound it makes people think of things like respect for human beings. Like the idea that each person has infinite worth - the same worth as other human beings, all of them "children of God". And while the "Pro-Life" movement tends to focus a lot on the unborn, some people might be led to believe that they care about born people as well.

J.T. is a father whose "adoptable" newborn daughter Jasmine was taken in 1984 (by some very coercive adoption "professionals") for adoption.

The following webpage has some startling information on it - take a look at the "DNR-NK" and "DNR- Not Keeping" that was written in the hospital records. http://demain66.tripod.com/relinquish.html

As J.T. wrote:

"I feel that the most inhuman thing that was displayed throughout this whole ordeal came to my attention only a short time ago. I requested the hospital records and received several sheafs of medical jargon that I couldn't decipher to save my life. The above excerpt, however, shows with utter clarity the mindset of the agencies involved in adoption: "Do Not Resuscitate- Not Keeping". These people are willing to coerce, threaten and beguile already confused and scared teenagers into giving away their child. Instead of helping them create a life for themselves, as well as the life they created...and written above is exactly how much worth they put on an actual life: "Do Not Resuscitate- Not Keeping". Apparently, only strong babies have good market value. Can't really make a good profit off the runt of the litter."

For anyone who thinks infertile adopters will care more about a child than real parents do, consider the meaning of the "DNR-NK". If the adoption businesses would allow a child to die, rather than risk having a dissatisfied customer who feels they got a "dud", then infant adoption is certainly not about "respect" for the real parents or the (born) baby.

Infertility - Losing Common Sense

2005-11-01T18:00:00.000-06:00

Infertility is a problem that many Americans are experiencing. Most people are fertile during their 20's - it's the people who "delayed pregnancy" into their 30s or 40s who usually have problems. They put on weight, used too many substances, were exposed to too many envirnonmental toxins. Some have had STDs. Many are simply too old. Others held their laptop computer directly in their laps, cooking the family jewels. Then they ask "What about my descendants and passing on my family name?" or "Who will call me 'mommy' or 'daddy'?"

Lucky for the infertile, there are many businesses popping up in United States, eager to take their money in exchange for helping them "build a family" so they can give the appearance of being healthy, reproductive citizens. Where adoption or "donor" technologies are concerned, the moneyed person has plenty of options. Questions the prospective adopter might ask include "What breed?" and "Can we avoid any contact with 'birth objects' (aka a child's actual mother)?".

It seems the infertile lose all common sense. The unnatural process of getting a healthy infant away from parents and grandparents who love her might turn a fertile person off completely. But the infertile press forward.

The adoption businesses, happy to encourage the desperate infertile with cash, try their best to make these people seem "normal".

Some adoption businesses use the word "Christian" in their names, giving the perception of decency and honesty. "Christian" adoption agencies like to claim that a healthy newborn baby is a gift from God to the adopters - but when is the last time someone paid for a gift from God? And since when does a human being make an acceptable "gift"? This paid-for human "gift" seems a lot like the Catholic Church selling indulgences to get people into heaven.

Some of the agencies even use the words "heritage" or "kinship" in their names. HUH? Adoption wipes out the adopted person's knowledge of heritage and removes them from kin. Nothing else can replace true relatives.

It seems the infertile lose all common sense. The unnatural process of getting a healthy infant away from parents and grandparents who love her might turn a fertile person off completely. But the infertile press forward. Lucky for the infertile, there are many businesses popping up in United States, eager to take their money in exchange for helping them "build a family" so they can give the appearance of being healthy, reproductive citizens.

Lucky for the infertile people - but a tragedy for the real family that gets torn apart to get babies for the adopters.

American Adoption

Children - A Right or A Blessing?

2005-09-26T18:35:00.000-05:00

People used to be blessed by God with babies - and blessed in God's own time.

But so many people today think that children are a convenience. Today men no longer "beget" a son or daughter, nor does a woman "have a baby". Instead people "get" a child through adoption, hiring a surrogate, or through "donor" technologies. A child "joins" his family through adoption and a woman claims to have given birth through her heart (a magic trick?). The real birth and the really sad true mother are forgotten.

People "get" a child when it is convenient for them, referring to themselves as "real parents" well in advance of the purchase. If they cannot "get" a child they become desperate. They begin putting down parents who did beget and are pregnant, saying they are selfish and undeserving, that they failed to "plan".

When people "get" a child, they often claim the child is God's blessing to them. Chances are, they refused God's blessing many times, and then later discovered it was too late and just appropriated some naive or poor woman's womb, stealing God's blessing for themselves.

WHY NOT? is a question some might ask. In some countries women who are enslaved and used as prostitutes are being bred with light-skinned male by pimps hoping to get lighter-skinned babies to sell for the adoption markets. In other countries single women are locked up in maternity "homes" and then "counseled" until they understand they have no choice but to surrender their babies. Or, middle-class grandparents embarrassed over their daughter's pregnancy may insist that a child is "better off" with strangers.

In United States, adoptees can talk about human rights and the right to their true identity or family all they want - and no one listens. Moms are so distraught they sometimes even commit suicide after being lured into "open" adoptions (or closed adoptions) and losing their children to strangers. The baby-buyers rationalize that the moms were "just birthmothers" ("birth objects") anyway. "Some moms who keep their babies also commit suicide" they rationalize.

It's obvious separating moms and newborn babies isn't really "best for the child" and it sure isn't best for the moms.

It's OK to be childless - really. You don't have to "get" an unrelated baby.

Interesting websites: Adoptees Speaking Out and OriginsUSA

Promoting Adoption

2005-07-28T07:32:00.000-05:00

Promoting adoption - it seems like such a good thing, getting orphans adopted and cared for. And maybe adoption of orphas could be a good thing. But is adoption today being done for the orphan child or just to get a nice healthy baby for the growing number of people who are infertile, gay or "just don't want to be bothered" with a pregnancy?

Infant adoption is an interesting phenonemon. Babies who are not real orphans are turned into orphans on paper so that people can adopt. The adoption agencies and attorneys who profit from this all say "it's LEGAL" and they insist they should not have to provide parents and grandparents any information about the effects of separation on mothers and babies.

Naive parents and grandparents are lured in by promises of "open" adoption - the promises of "openness" usually fade within the first year.

The people who are adopting are often mislead as well. One promise made to the prospective adopters is the promise of a "forever family". To the prospective adopter, this is a promise of a "forever child" - a promise that the unrelated child they are adopting will attach and love them forever, that she will have no issues with separation from her true family.

With all this misleading information provided by "professionals" (whose business is separating families to get babies for people), it's interesting to note that there is a website devoted to natural parents adopting children - BACK!

"Birth" Mothers and Adoption Research

2005-07-10T10:53:00.000-05:00

"Choosing" adoption?

This website has some very interesting research on infant adoption and how mothers fare when their infant sons and daughters are adopted-out.

Infant Adoption and "Birthmother" Research

Considering Adoption

2005-06-23T14:54:00.000-05:00

Considering Adoption

Here are some articles for mothers (not "birthmother birth objects") considering adoption for their baby.

Considering Adoption - Things I Wish I Had Known
Considering Adoption - Effects on Babies
Dear Birthmother - Is Adoption Worth The Grief?
Considering Adoption - Open Adoption the Wall
Open Adoption Scams

It's sad how people refer to a child's mother as a "birthmother" as if she was just some baby-manufacturing equipment. To her baby, developing inside her, she is his whole universe. She is his mother - she makes him feel secure.

"Birthmothers" Views On Adoption

2005-06-22T10:51:00.000-05:00

"Birthmothers" Views On Adoption

This is not a subject you hear too much about - "Birthmothers" Views On Adoption. I'm including a few "Adoptees" Views On Adoption as well because adopted persons are often silenced by various means.

How Positive Adoption Language Tears Families Apart

Choose Life License Plates are Misleading

Baby Safe Havens - Families Need Protection from Baby Safe Haven

Adoption and Safe Families Act Tears Family Apart (about adoption from foster care)

Adoptees - Is Heritage a Human Right?

Adoptee Insights by California Adoptee

Embryo Adoption, Donating Embryos, Embryo Adoption Research Flawed

Baby-Selling or Adoption?

2005-06-17T20:01:00.000-05:00

Baby-Selling or Adoption?

The lines between baby-selling and adoption have always been blurry. In the 1950s 60s and 70s babies were routinely taken from single "unwed" mothers at birth and used for adoption. The adoption agencies were supposed to protect the babies by doing thorough home studies, but hey - if you have a bunch of babies how are you really supposed to know whether the infertile people you are giving a baby to will abuse him or not? The truth is, neither the social workers nor anyone else can know for sure - if people want to be in control of raising their offspring they must do it themselves. The social workers could not guarantee the moms would be 'better off' either - in fact the experts were well aware that the moms would suffer horribly.

Well, the adoption industry won't make much money if they tell the truth about the effects of adoption on 'birthmothers' or the effects of adoption on babies. And they do make money - if not on the babies themselves then on "services" and donations.

The industry goes out of it's way to promote a special language which they call "positive" adoption language. When "positive" adoption language is used, it makes the real family appear to be completely unrelated to their family member and the baby-buyers seem like honorable "parents" long before the sale is finalized.

Maternity homes - veritable baby-breeding stations - were used in previous decades and maternity homes are becoming popular again. And why not? Maternity homes isolate pregnant women from anyone who might offer to help - give you a great opportunity to brainwash them - and you get a good return on your investment.

Infant adoption. Babies for adoption. It's all so easy - like taking candy from a baby. Call the moms "unwed" mothers, "birthmothers" "birthmoms" "birthparents" - and voila! You've got babies for adoption.

The use of "Dear Birthmother" letters is also very effective. Get prospective adopters lined up in advance of birth and make the mothers feel beholden to them. It's a bit like getting a woman signed up for an abortion before she's even pregnant. But it's effective in accomplishing a "successful" adoption.

The lines between baby-selling and adoption have always been blurry. Maybe adoption was always just baby-selling. A sweet little social engineering project to try to "clean up" a messy society.

The saddest part, I find, is how the moms and dads buy into the language. Moms, dads - stop referring to yourselves by words that mean "birth objects". It's not just a matter of respecting yourself - but using this bad language contributes to additional family separations to get babies for adoption.

Using terms like "Birthmother", "birthparent", "birthmom", "birthmoms," birthparents", "birthmothers" - "unwed mothers". What a sick, sick way to speak of real family members. And what a great device this dehumanizing language is in getting more babies for adoption.

Bush Admin Pushes Grabbing Babies

This is an article written by an "unwed mothers" who knows the meaning and use of maternity homes is often just to get more babies for adoption. Open adoption is used more frequently now - with the objective to lure moms into infant adoption. Dear birthmother letters and dear birthparent letter - they are all intended to locate a naive or pressured mother (not "birthmothers", "birthmoms", "birthparents" but a real human being) and get a baby to adopt.

Do we really need more adoption stories or should we just help moms to keep their families intact?

Press Releases

Some press releases on adoption, open adoption, closed adoption, infant adoption , dear birthmother letters dear birthparent letter , birthmothers , birthmoms, birthparents, reproductive technologies,
embryo adoption , embryo donation.

Here's another website on human rights, adoptees , adopted children and unwed mothers maternity homes.

Adoption Websites

2005-06-17T12:38:00.000-05:00

Here are some interesting adoption websites...

Dear Birthmother Game Website

Infant adoption is popular in America...and this website about the dear birthmother game and dear birthmother letters tries to help people comprehend that mothers and fathers are not just placenta-like objects meant to be discarded when a baby is born so someone else can have a baby. That dear birthparent letter might have a profound impact on someone's life.

Adoption - whether it is open adoption or closed adoption - will leave mother and baby suffering more than you might expect. It's cruel. Mothers are not birthmothers birthmoms or birthparents - they are the mothers of their own children. We have enough sad adoption stories already.

Adoptingback Website

Want to hear some interesting adoption stories? Adoption, adopting babies, adopting children , infant adoption - it's not as simple as it sounds. This website is dedicated to the question of whether adult adoptees should be adopted back by their natural parents - or perhaps have their adoptions annulled. Some have already been adopted back or changed their name back. Guess the maternity homes for unwed mothers were not enough to make the babies someone they were not. Adoptingback - angels in adoption?

Bush Admin Pushes Grabbing Babies

This is an article written by an "unwed mothers" who knows the meaning and use of maternity homes is often just to get more babies for adoption. Open adoption is used more frequently now - with the objective to lure moms into infant adoption. Dear birthmother letters and dear birthparent letter - they are all intended to locate a naive or pressured mother (not "birthmothers", "birthmoms", "birthparents" but a real human being) and get a baby to adopt.
Do we really need more adoption stories or should we just help moms to keep their families intact?

Press Releases

Some press releases on adoption, open adoption, closed adoption, infant adoption , dear birthmother letters dear birthparent letter , birthmothers , birthmoms, birthparents, reproductive technologies,
embryo adoption , embryo donation.

Another website on human rights, adoptees , adopted children and unwed mothers maternity homes.

Pro-life / Pro-adoption Conflicts

2005-06-15T12:07:00.000-05:00

Pro-life / Pro-adoption Conflicts

Top ten reasons why pro-adoption is NOT pro-life:

1) There may be orphaned children in the world, but the children that get adopted are usually healthy newborn babies removed (if ever so cunningly) from family members that love them.

2) Separating babies from their mothers soon after birth is very traumatic for both of them. The baby develops insecurities, the mother suffers.

3) Every baby who has ever been adopted was already born and not in danger of abortion.

4) Many women who would prefer to keep their babies feel forced into abortions when their options are limited to only adoption and abortion.

5) People should not have to go through their lives feeling like a science experiment, deprived of access to or information about their family just to make adopters feel secure as "parents".

6) It's distressing for mothers who loved their babies to hear their children later thanking them for "giving life" - as if it were some dreaded chore. For many moms the time spent with their child was a very special time for them - it was having their child removed from them that caused anguish.

7) If adoption is such a "positive option", then presumably adopters should also be delighted to have the opportunity to "give up" their children if they should happen to get divorced or lose their job.

8) Lots of people are "waiting to adopt - but what does that have to do with what's right for some other family?

9) Some people claim that earthly adoptions are said to give us a glimpse of the more perfect eternal adoption through our spirits with our heavenly Father, God. (What are they talking about? I don't recall God separating single moms and babies to get babies for adoption - Mary was single when Jesus was born and they got to stay together. In the Bible, Mary was never called the derogatory terms "birth object*" or "unwed mother" either before or after her precious baby was born.)

10) With "open" adoption: the child would not have to witness their mother, father, siblings and grandparents being kept "in their place" by the adoptive buyers if she had not been adopted; she would not have to be jealous of the kept siblings, wondering why she was discarded.

Adoption promoters are trying to get people who were adopted to encourage moms to surrender babies. Hmm. Maybe some people who were adopted were raised to believe that it just makes sense to trade family members for wealth? Or that only people who buy babies can possibly love them? Or maybe adoptees want their own sons and daughters to be taken from them at birth and sold to people who are infertile due to drug use, overweight, smoking, STDs, waiting too long....or sold to people who are gay.

Lots of people can really USE a baby - a nice healthy adorable little baby for adoption.

* "Birth object" - Includes all derogatory terms used to diminish the value of family and get babies for adoption. Examples include "dear birthmother", "dear birthparent", "birthparent" "birthparents" "birthmothers, "birthfather", "birthmom", "birth son", "birth daughter", "birth grandparents" "birth relatives" "biological mother", "unwed mothers" etc.

Pregnant and Considering Adoption?

2005-06-14T09:38:00.000-05:00

Pregnant and Considering Adoption?

Here are links to some information on adoption, the history of adoption and adoption reunion:

Natural mothers and adoptees speaking out about adoption.

Outcomes of Open Adoption for the natural family.

Domestic Infant Adoption articles and information.

What the adopted child - or rather adult adoptee may say about adoption later.

More adopted children - or rather adult adoptees - tell of their realities.

Mothers used to provide babies for adoption, both open and closed adoptions.

Personal adoption stories, "birthmom" stories, "birthmother" stories, "birthparent" stories*

How Open Adoption is used by agencies, lawyers, doctors and other individuals to lure people into adoption.

A mother's "personal response" to "Birthmothers Day" - honoring women as breeders of babies to be used for adoption.

Note: the terms "Dear Birthmother" "birthmother", "birthmom", "birthparent", "birthmothers", "birthparents" "birthfather", are used ONLY for search engine placement. No mother - or father - is a "birth object" meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption.

Open Sealed Adoption Records

2005-06-13T10:59:00.000-05:00

Open Sealed Adoption Records

If you are a mother who has lost her child to adoption, please sign the petition at Mothers for Open Records Everywhere.

Mothers for Open Records for Adoptees. No 'birthmothers', 'birthmother' or 'birthparents', "birthparent" confidentiality or privacy promised or desired.

Adoption Awareness

2005-06-12T11:35:00.000-05:00

Adoption Awareness

Read about the importance of not separating moms and newborns in the hospital. Yet the United States government is promoting separating moms and newborns - to get more babies for adoption.

As a result of lobbying by the adoption industry, the United States government now funds "Infant Adoption Awareness Training" and "Maternity Group Homes".

In the 1960's few mothers got to keep and raise sons and daughters born when they were single. And now the businesses that provide "adoption services" would like to see a re-run, with single parents exploited as a source of babies for adoption by infertile couples. Today many people focus on "success" and delay childbearing too long and then discover they are infertile. And it's not just people who are experiencing infertility, but people who are single or gay say they have a "right to adopt" as well. Open adoption is used as a lure to get more babies away from their own mothers, fathers, grandparents and siblings.

Moms are trying to be heard - click on personal adoption stories to see what so-called "birthmothers" have to say about how their babies were taken.

One of my favorites is this article:

I am NOT a 'birthmother' ('birthparent', 'birthmom')

Sounds snotty, doesn't it? The nerve of this woman to say she is a mother - everyone knows that once a parent has been used as the source of a baby for adoption they are considered garbage and that's all there is to it. A "birthmother" is like an asswipe - meant to be discarded.

Sadly, the babies that were adopted suffered from percieved abandonment, thinking they were unwanted babies, and not realizing the tactics used to get more babies for adoption.

What a tragedy - all this needless suffering. history of adoption.

But even with all the suffering we still have all these "Dear Birthmother" letters - soliciting living parents to get their babies for adoption. They are "rescuing babies that don't need to be rescued. People are claiming to have "saved" babies from abortions by taking these healthy infants from their families.

As a result of lobbying by the adoption industry, the United States government now funds "Infant Adoption Awareness Training" and "Maternity Group Homes".

It's just plain sick.

Adoption - Speaking Out

2005-06-09T20:57:00.000-05:00

Adoption - Speaking Out

Infant adoption - it's considered a perfect solution to infertility and unexpected pregnancies - "killing" two birds with one stone. Those who value the two-married-parent "family-unit" as the only family type also love promoting infant adoption.

But what do adult adoptees say about being transferred from their own family to an unrelated situation? Do adoptees know "the difference" if they are adopted as babies? Are adoptees "grateful" to be removed from their mother, father, grandparents and raised apart from their siblings? Will people adopted as embryos also feel grateful to be adopted and separated from their true heritage and ancestors?

Read the following articles:

Happy Adoptees

What the Baby
Brokers Don't Tell You About Adoptees and the Truth!

Embryo
Adoption Study
Flawed

"Birthmothers Day"
Celebrations from an Adult Adoptee's Perspective

Be My Baby
Protester Devotes Life to Adoptees and Natural
Moms

Adoptee
Experiences - California
Comic Provides Adoption
Insights

Adoption
and Embryo
Adoption - Is Heritage a
Human Right?

Not everyone benefits from adoption. When people WANT to know the truth, they listen carefully. Yet there are still many who are not listening:

Bush Admin Pushes Grabbing Babies From Poor Women so Wealthy Can Adopt

Not everyone benefits from adoption. When people WANT to know the truth, they listen carefully:

Infant
Adoption - Why
Solicitaiton for Babies for
Adoption Must be
Outlawed

Infant
Adoption - Dear
Birthmother letters

Infant
Adoption - Domestic
Adoption Baby
Boom

Donating Embryonic Offspring

2005-06-07T06:45:00.000-05:00

Donating Embryonic Offspring

Donating embryos means donating your potential offspring - your sons and daughters. Is this a "personal decision" - or is it child abuse? A human being has a right to know her mother, father, grandparents, siblings and ancestors. In other words, she has a right to know who she is. She is not some old shirt to be donated.

But people today say "why not donate her to the neighbors - they 'need' a child."

And Americans are now being FORCED to pay for embryo adoption through federally-funded Embryo Adoption Awareness Training.

As often happens, the "experts" will profit from donations of human embryos and they are encouraging it. Not ALL clinics made "spares". Presumably the "spare" embryos were made with the idea that they could be put to good use later - either for research or to sell to infertile people (disguised as "services"). Undoubtedly, if the clinics can make money selling human embryos, they will sell more. More human beings one day will have to say "I don't know my family - my parents donated me."

Perhaps some persons who were adopted are glad they are unrelated to everyone around them. They have not considered what it might be like to hear the stories of your own grandparents or sass - or get a hug from - your very own mother. To tease your own sister, a sister that shares the same ancestors. Perhaps it's true - BUT I DOUBT IT.

Most people deep down want to know who they are. When they go to the doctor they want to know the answers to the questions and know for sure the "health history" they have was not simply fabricated just to get them adopted. If they have a question, they'd like to be able to get it answered without petitioning the courts. They want to feel normal, like they fit in - without feeling all eyes on them like they are some science experiment.

A science experiment - a psychological experiment. Will the unrelated adopters "feel right" to the adopted person when she is 6 or 7 and "wakes up" to the realization that she is not related to her "parents"? Will the adopted person "feel right" when she enters her teenage years, unsure of who she really is? What will she tell her children when they ask about their ancestors?

If one of her "parents" wants to have sex with her is it incest?

Many people say some days it's hard enough to keep from 'killing' your own children - although knowing you yourself have some of the same annoying behaviors your children do helps you understand how they could act that way. But with an unrelated child, the "parents" may not understand the inherited behavior they witness at all. If the "parents" are abusive to an unrelated child, will anyone protect her from these "kind" people who "saved her life"?

What about the fitness of infertile people to raise an unrelated child?

"Adoptive parents are deprived people. Almost all of them have experienced the pain of infertility or inability to bear a live child. They have gone through much disappointment, waiting and uncertainty, all experiences which tend to reduce people’s confidence and self-esteem. When they first acquire a baby their natural instinct is to salve their wounded feelings by denying any difference between the two kinds of parenthood, yet they also have to live with the fear of losing the child up till the time of legal adoption." - PARENTS, CHILDREN AND ADOPTION, 1966, Jane Rowe

Thinking of donating your embryos? There is no guarantee that some stranger can and will love your child as much as you would.

Donating embryos means donating your potential offspring - your sons and daughters. Is this a "personal decision"? I think embryo donation is child abuse.

See also:

Embryo Adoption Study Flawed

Adoptees Open Records - Family Heritage is a Human Right

"Dear Birthmother" Letters - Why "Dear Birthmother" letter and adoption business cards should be outlawed.

Note: Regarding the term "Birthmother" - Moms who lost children to adoption reject the term "birthmother" and two articles: 1) "Why 'birthmother' means breeder" and 2) "Not By Choice" explains why they reject this term "birthmother".

Most Important Blog

2005-06-05T20:04:00.000-05:00

Most Important Blog -

I think this wins the "most important blog" award:

Embryo Adoption and Pope Benedict XVI

It contains an Open Letter to Pope Benedict XVI on the subject of Embryo Donation - Embryo Adoption

Embryo adoption may provide people who are infertile or gay with babies, but it does nothing for real orphans - and it gives clinics an incentive to make more "spare" embryos.

Embryo adoption is not a "culture of life" (as President Bush calls it) so much as it is a "culture of creating orphans to use".

Adoption=Love?

2005-06-04T07:44:00.000-05:00

Adoption=Love?

There is a large market for babies for adoption in United States - and few real orphans that are young and healthy enough for people who want to adopt.

With all the people who have waited too long to have children and gay people hoping to adopt, adoption promoters are hard at work trying to find more babies. American babies for adoption are popular, if one can "find" them. Many of the people who adopt want only the healthiest, smartest babies - and they are willing to pay for "services" designed to get them a healthy baby.

A large part of the adoption "services" includes creating a "culture of adoption" or where everyone will think only positive things about adoption and reject as untrue - or inconsequential - any negatives. "Adoption=Love" bracelets, adoption posters, adoption dolls and a special adoption language all help to build a customer base and get more babies for people to adopt. Federally-funded Infant Adoption Awareness Training and Choose Life License Plates all go toward aiding adopters and adoption agencies in "finding" more babies and getting them away from naive or vulnerable families.

Adoption=Love? Even though separating them at birth for adoption may cause the babies and their mothers to suffer, the idea of helping real family members stay together is rarely mentioned. Learn how the voices of adoptees and mothers who have lost children to adoption are silenced - read "Adoption Ethics - An Oxymoron".

Think carefully about how the words "birthmother" "birthparent" "birthmom" "lifemother" affect a person's thinking about a mother who has just given birth. "Birthmothers", "birthparents" - these words make a mother seem like nothing but the packaging a baby comes in - meant to be discarded. "Lifemother"? A mother is more than just an incubator giving "life" - she is the mother of her child.

Adoption=Love? A mother is not a "birthmother" - she is the mother and parent of her child. Tragically, there are people soliciting a living mother, hoping to get her infant son or daughter so they can experience the joy of "parenting".

"Dear Birthmother", "Dear Birthparent"? Open adoption? These adoption letters - and any other attempts to get mothers to select prospective adopters in advance of birth - are despicable. How can a mother know what it will be like to be separated from her baby before she has held her baby in her arms and looked into her trusting eyes?

Adoption=Love? There is a large market for babies for adoption in United States - and few real orphans that are young and healthy enough for people who want to adopt.

"Dear Birthmother", "Dear Birthparent"? Open adoption?

Instead of Adoption=Love, Infant adoption=Exploitation.

Teen Parenting

2005-06-03T08:16:00.000-05:00

Teen Parenting

"My brother is featured this month in 'Teen Parenting' magazine," a friend said to me. It took a while for her words to sink in. She was PROUD of her brother, a teen father. Later I met the whole family and they were all proud of him and his little girl. The love in that family was amazing.

Contrast that with the current push by George W. Bush to get more babies for adoption. Babies have been obtained for adoption even while the dads were away serving their country in Iraq. Did the dads get a "choice"? In reality, when 'adoption' is pushed so heavily the moms and their families don't get a real 'choice' either. How are they supposed to be able to compare the joy of a new grandchild with the loss of a family member to adoption when only 'happy' adoption stories are being told? Embarrassed about an unexpected pregnancy, grandparents-to-be may believe the "unwed mother" stereotypes and not recognize that this beautiful new baby is their own grandchild.

"Pro-life" - they have been taught - means welcoming a new baby into an adoptive home. They may never even consider the joy welcoming a baby into his own family!

Later, they will have years to wonder - why didn't they just keep their grandson and help their son or daughter out?

Promoting a "culture of adoption" may get more babies for people who are infertile or gay to adopt but the "culture of adoption" - sometimes called a "culture of life" does nothing for real families. And now people are even being solicited for their sperm and eggs for others to use!

Why not refer to it all as a "culture of orphans"!

In "Not by Choice" it is explained how maternity homes and thought reform (brainwashing) helped obtain more babies for adoption in the "baby scoop" era.

Today the adoption baby market is growing. Domestic infant adoption numbers are up, no thanks to all the "Dear Birthmother" and "Dear Birthparent" letters and solicitation for babies to adopt.

With all that is known by experts about the ill effects of separating family and of the secrecy in adoption, it remains that adoption is a very lucrative business. Thanks to lobbying efforts we now have government funding for Infant Adoption Awareness training, maternity homes, adoption counseling, subsidies and other aid for adopters, and so-called "safe havens" where a frightened mother unsure of how to get real help may leave her newborn son or daughter. In some states there are adoption aid "Choose Life" license plates, with proceeds going toward advertising and adoption services.

Those in the health professions can become an "Adoption Specialist" after a free three-day training program. There is no requirement that this training inform trainees of the life-long emotional consequences of surrender/adoption to mother, child or other family members.

"My brother is featured this month in 'Teen Parenting' magazine," a friend said to me. It took a while for her words to sink in....Adoption is not about love - it is simply the business of getting babies for people who are infertile or gay. Adoption exploits women and families.

Adoption - Are Women Being Exploited?

2005-06-02T10:48:00.000-05:00

Adoption - Are Women Being Exploited to Get Babies?

Read A Keynote Address to see the effects of adoptio n separation on "birthmothers" and their babies.

Read "Open Adoption The Wall" to see how open adoption might affect the natural moms and siblings of the adopted child.

Domestic Infant Adoption should be a subject for debate among feminists. What a fine "civilized" society we have - using mothers and even their other children as if they were only a source of babies for adoption!

"Birthmoms", "Birthmothers", "Birthparents" - all of these terms make a mother appear as if she was merely an incubator - a "thing" to be used to produce a baby for adoption.

"Dear Birthmother" and "Dear Birthparent" letters? We don't solicit to get a living person's vital organ and we should not solicit to get their family members, either.

Women's Reproductive Rights

2005-06-01T09:14:00.000-05:00

Women's Reproductive Rights

Women's Reproductive Rights - and Men's Reproductive Rights - BOTH are violated by hasty adoptions. Sometimes the moms later commit suicide.

In United States today, there are few infant adoptions that are not rammed through as quickly as possible before the real mother or father comes to their senses.

When their baby is good adopting material, real parents are referred to as "birthmothers" "birthfathers" "birthparents" and other dehumanizing terms. Single parents who are vulnerable are solicited via "Dear Birthparent" and "Dear Birthmother" letters.

People PRAY they can get a baby to adopt. People actually hope and DREAM of separating family members so they can get a baby to adopt. But with few real orphans babies to be found, families must be separated to get babies for adoption.

Babies for Adoption. Getting babies away from their families - their mothers, fathers, grandparents and siblings - is easier than you might think. Domestic Infant Adoption is popular in the United States. To get more American babies for adoption, the adoption industry has promoted a "culture of adoption". "Open adoption" is being offered to lure more parents into surrendering their healthy babies for adoption. Getting prospective adopters selected in advance puts pressure on moms to surrender their beloved babies.

People who have not yet obtained a baby to adopt are called real parents" while the true parents are demoted to "birthmother" or "birthfather" birth objects.

While adopted "children" - unaware of how a "culture of adoption" contributed to their separation from family - seek their "birth family", the adoption industry is hard at work devising ways to separate even more families to get babies to adopt.

When their baby is good adopting material, real parents are referred to as "birthmothers" "birthfathers" "birthparents" and other dehumanizing terms. Single parents who are vulnerable are solicited via "Dear Birthparent" and "Dear Birthmother" letters.

Adoption business cards are another method of soliciting for babies for adoption. Adoption dolls even promote infant adoption and make this exploitation of women to get babies for adoption appear normal.

Women's Reproductive Rights - and Men's Reproductive Rights - BOTH are violated by hasty adoptions. Sometimes the moms later commit suicide. Adoption ethics? There is no such thing as "ethical adoptions" in America.

2005-05-31T11:50:00.000-05:00

Adoption Ethics - Ethical Adoption

Adoption Ethics - is just following the "adoption process" enough to ensure an ethical adoption?

In American adoptions, it's possible to make a "down-payment" on a baby before she is even born. The mother-to-be (or even tragically the father or grandparents) may be offered money to ensure a "successful adoption". Credit card payments, car payments, "dining" expenses, and scholarships are apparently all "expenses" that can be covered.

When she was pregnant the mother could never comprehend what it might be like to hold her baby in her arms and look into her daughter's trusting eyes. But when the mother's baby is born, if she has accepted money she may feel she owes her own child to the prospective adopters. This is a tragedy for the mother and her baby. As one mother told me, "I decided to keep my baby and I told the lady at the adoption agency. She told me I would have to be the one to tell the adopters - and I just couldn't do it."

Some moms feel beholden to the prospective adopters or the adoption agency merely because when everyone else was "against" her - telling her how "bad" she was for becoming pregnant - they "befriended" her. Later the mother may commit suicide - but perhaps that is also part of the "adoption process"?

"Adoption Ethics - An Oxymoron" reveals how the voices of moms and adoptees are often silenced by the media. Where adoption ethics is concerned, the "culture of adoption" in America has made ethical adoption an impossiblity.

Ethical Adoption and adoption ethics. Ethical adoption agencies. What might an "ethical adoption agency" be like? My guess is that the first thing an ethical agency would do is to ensure the pregnant mother understands that she IS the mother of her child. A mother is not a "birthmother" "birthparent" "birthmom" - she is her child's own parent.

Yet nearly every agency refers to the mother and father as "birthparents" as if they were only objects meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption.

Getting a pregnant woman to believe she has already "chosen" adoption before she has signed a relinquishment is obviously unethical.
There is nothing ethical about adoption. Adoption is based on the lie that it was the adopter who gave birth to the child. Adoption denies the heritage and culture of the child.

Bush Administration and Adoption

2005-05-30T18:07:00.000-05:00

Bush Administration and Adoption

Adoption Policy in the United States seems to go something like this: If there is a naive parent or family, then by all means - grab their "adoptable" infant and run! For that matter, why wait - if you can catch someone's offspring in the embryonic stage, that's just as good. Adopt an embryo - people don't even think of this as real adoption. Will the recipients be prepared for to assist the donated child with adoption issues? In fact, embryo adoption, sperm donation and egg donation and surrogacy all are closely related in the issues they cause the orphaned child. They are all forms of adoption, where a person is cut off from family and family heritage.

People who are infertile are being catered to, there's no doubt. Gays and lesbians also benefit from a policy that denies single parent's rights.

It's long been know the effects that separating babies from their mothers for adoption has on a person throughout their life. But WHO CARES about the child - it's whether you can get one that's all that matters.

And when people don't care about the child of course they don't care about the suffering of the mothers, fathers, grandparents and siblings left behind when their family member is used for adoption.

Adoption? USED for adoption? Adoption is a "choice" isn't it?

Well almost any idiot can see that father's rights are being denied. Fathers aren't even mentioned in the "Dear Birthmother" game. So few fathers win a battle to keep thier babies that almost none even try anymore. Fathers are derisively called "sperm donors" or "birthfather objects" even before their babies are taken for adoption.

Of course mother, grandparents and siblings are all considered mere objects, unrelated to the beautiful healthy newborn. "Birthmothers" "Birthmother" "Birthmoms" "Birthparents" - even "Lifemother" - all of these words deny family relatedness. "Birthmother" obscures the reality that a mother who has just given birth is a new mom - the parent of her own child. Even when they are convinced adoption was their "choice" some mothers later commit suicide.

There is money to be made in the adoption business. Adoption agencies and adoption attorneys brag that they are EXPANDING their domestic adoption "services" - offering "open adoption" to lure in naive and vulnerable parents and families.

Even child protective services and the Adoption and Safe Families Act seem to be geared toward getting babies for people to adopt:

Read "Adoption and Safe Families Act Tears Family Apart" to see how it's done. Consider how THAT little girl's siblings must feel.

Of course mother, grandparents and siblings are all considered mere objects, unrelated to the beautiful healthy newborn. "Birthmothers" "Birthmother" "Birthmom" "Birthparent" - even "Lifemother" - all of these words deny family relatedness. "Birthmother" obscures the reality that a mother is a mom - the parent of her own child.

There is money to be made in the adoption business. Adoption agencies and adoption attorneys brag that they are expanding their domestic adoption "services" - offering "open adoption" to lure in naive and vulnerable parents and families. Even when they are convinced adoption was their "choice" some mothers later commit suicide.

Read "Bush Admin Pushes grabbing Babies From Poor Women So Wealthy Can Adopt". Adoption policy in the United States? EVERY healthy newborn is "adoptable" if born to a single mother in a naive family. It just might take the National Council For Adoption (NCFA), a little "Infant Adoption Awareness Training" or Maternity Group Homes to lure them in.

"Dear Birthparent"?

2005-05-29T07:06:00.000-05:00

"Dear Birthparent"?

When a mother's and father's baby is born, the mother and father are the parents of the child - the ONLY parents. Parents have rights and responsibilities where their children are concerned. Medical professionals and other professionals have an obligation to provide parents adequate information upon which to base an informed decision when they are considering treatment for their child.

But some people seem to be making an exception and treating some parents differently. When parents are targeted as the source of a baby for adoption, they may be considered mere "birth objects" and not be provided honest information. Who would think to refer to a married woman as a "birthmother" while she is pregnant or when her baby is born? It would be so disrespectful! What medical professional would allow a married mother to believe that a newborn baby does not suffer when separated from her mother for too long?

Sadly, single mothers and fathers are referred to as "birthmothers", "birthfathers" and "birthparents" ALL THE TIME. They are denied honest information. Meanwhile, people who are not "parents" but are complete strangers to the child are called "parents".

Many of these strangers try to solicit to get babies away from their own parents. "Dear Birthparent" letters are so common no one ever thinks about the reality - real families are being torn apart and used as if they were only a source of babies for the customers of adoption services.

"Dear Birthparent" letters are only a small part of the overall disrespect for parents and the destruction of families.

If you believe that families are better off when their "adoptable" babies are taken and used for adoption, then read about the effects of adoption on so-called "birthmothers" and on adoptees. Read also about the effects of open adoption on "birthmothers" and siblings of the adopted-out child. Open adoption, closed adoption - either way somebody's gonna lose a family member.

A mother or father is not a "birthparent" - they are the mother or father of their child. Adoption - and even open adoption - ends in suicide more often than you might think.

"Dear Birthparent"? Just say "no" to adoption.

Open Adoption

2005-05-28T11:27:00.000-05:00

Open Adoption

Some people say open adoption is better than closed adoption. But is open adoption better than keeping family members together?

Siblings, parents and grandparents all are left hurting when their family member is adopted-out. Some commit suicide. In spite of these "little issues" domestic adoptions are said to be increasing. Adoption agencies and adoption attorneys brag that parents (known as "birthparents" or "birth objects") can be lured into "donating" their infant sons and daughters though offers of "open adoption".

Open adoption? A newborn baby needs her mother - and not just a supervised visit twice a year, or a letter. Read "Is the US Promoting Pain?" by adoptee Julie A. Rist.

Adoption aids the infertile - but family heritage is a human right.

Some people say open adoption is better than closed adoption. Perhaps the promoters of open adoption would like to "donate" a baby for adoption.

The Adoption Option

2005-05-26T09:50:00.000-05:00

The Adoption Option

The Adoption Option is being touted as the next best thing to sliced bread - or rather, next to having your own children. In fact, some say the adoption option is better than having your own babies. Having your own babies is a hassle and results in stretch marks. Why not let some naive or financially pressured woman have morning sickness for you?

Embryo adoption is another adoption option. You can bring an unrelated child to life - and deny her almost any knowledge of her origins. Open records . While adoptees push for open records, people are working up new adoption options, planning to create more orphans for adoption.

Adoption saves babies from abortion. That's what they claim. But it seems to me that adoption saves babies from being taken home and loved by their own mothers and other family members.

The domestic adoption game - isn't it fun? Domestic infant adoption is another great adoption option. It's wonderful how federally-funded Infant Adoption Awareness Training makes it possible for people who are infertile or gay to obtain more American babies for adoption.

The Adoption Option is being touted as the next best thing to sliced bread - or rather, next to having your own children. Adoption agencies brag how they have gotten more babies for adoption by offering "open adoption" as an option. Now Dear Birthparent letters - and suggestions on how to write a Dear Birthmother letter - are everywhere you look. There are adoption business cards soliciting to get babies for adoption, too.

But the adoption option is brutal for the moms who are being lured into surrendering their babies.

Bush and Embryo Adoption

2005-05-25T16:57:00.000-05:00

According to President George W. Bush, embryo adoption is a "life-affirming" option.

Perhaps Bush has never thought about the fact that SOME clinics were more ethical and did not create "spare" human embryos. Perhaps he has never considered that by profitting off the sale of minute human embryos, clinics will be encouraged to create even more "spares". Or perhaps that is Bush's intention - perhaps Bush owns stock in businesses that sell human lives.

Well, George W has always been in favor of taking babies from their own families and making them available for infertile people to use. Yes, I'm talking about adoption. Separating families for adoption is cruel, but at least it gives the infertile people something to chatter about - the little "orphans" they "saved".

"Twenty-one children here today found a chance for life with loving parents," Bush said about the embryo adoptees.

Interesting that the supposed "children" were under 100 cells each (and frozen) when they were "saved" and the supposed "parents" are completely unrelated to their adoptees. The word "loving" is interesting too. Why do people who acquire or purchase unrelated children always rate the term "loving"? Presumably Michael Jackson is a "loving parent" because he USED a surrogate to make a baby for him. He "saved" a sperm and an egg!

Domestic Adoption and Dear Birthparent Letters

2005-05-24T08:18:00.000-05:00

Domestic Adoption and Dear Birthparent Letters

Domestic adoption has always been favored in United States. American babies for adoption. On the surface, adoption seems like such a good thing - helping moms and dads who "just don't want" their babies.

Domestic adoption is a fantastic invention - almost too good to be true: The adoption businesses make money and infertile and gay people get babies to adopt. When people pay for "adoption services", they usually want to get healthy infants. Adoption agencies and adoption attorneys can help people find babies. These "professionals" are skilled at negotiating and can take on any frightened, pressured or naive single parent - especially a mother who is suffering from the effects of pregnancy or having the ordinary "mania" that can be expected following birth.

If the prospective adopter wants to "cut out the middleman" she can try to adopt independently. There are many books that can provide advice on how to get a baby for adoption. Writing a good "Dear Birthmother" letter seems to be essential. Offering a pregnant woman pictures, letters and continuing contact may assure you a healthy baby to adopt.

Thinking about domestic adoption? Should you write and try to find a vulnerable "Dear Birthmother" or "Dear Birthparent" or "Dear Expectant Parent" or even "Dear Prospective Birthmother"?

A mother is a real mother.

The word "birthmother" makes a mother appear to be only an object, meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption.

Domestic adoption has always been favored in United States. American babies for adoption. On the surface, adoption seems like such a good thing - helping "birthmoms" and dads who "just don't want" their babies.

Maternity Homes

2005-05-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

Maternity Homes

Maternity Homes that help moms and teach them the skills they need to raise their children are one thing...maternity homes with adoption "counseling" are a completely different story. One maternity home on line states specifically in the "Page Description" that it is for pregnant women who have "chosen adoption".

I don't think a woman should be led to believe she has "chosen" adoption before her baby is born, before she has signed anything. This is coercion, for sure - getting someone to "choose" adoption before their baby is born and they can hold her in their arms is like getting someone to sign up for an abortion before they are even pregnant.

When a mother's baby is born she is the mother, the parent. Yet, this maternity "home" is making it out that THEY already have dibs on the baby to sell to their customers. Are they saying they have already bought and paid for her baby by helping her? That just sick.

- from Maternity Homes blog

Maternity homes have long been used to get babies for
adoption. Get pregnant women separated from society, get them separated from their babies' fathers. And voila! a "miracle" occurs - you can get moms to surrender
their own beloved infant sons and daughters. Maternity
"homes"? Today the breeding farms have become pretty fancy - with beautiful swimming pools and expansive lawns. To look at them you might not guess that they were all about punishing women for having babies and getting more healthy babies for adoption.
"Get 'empowered' and choose an adoptive family."
"Take control." - These are some of the adoption industry messages to mothers, some of whom were probably unceremoniously dumped at the home by their parents. Feeling low and with nowhere to turn, they begin turning the
pages looking at slick advertisements for prospective adopters. To make them feel even more pressured toward adoption they undoubtedly are told: "There are hundreds of hopeful adoptive couples." (And you owe one of them
a baby!) Maternity homes have long been used to get babies for
adoption. Get pregnant women separated from society, get them separated from their babies' fathers. Call the moms by
dehumanizing terms like "birthmothers" ("birth objects") And voila! When God's miracle of birth occurs it is quicky obscured by the "miracle" of getting wealthy buyers a baby for adoption. Karen Wilson Buterbaugh's article "Not By Choice" helps explain how homes for
"unwed" mothers were used in earlier decades to get babies for adoption. Today, things have changed is some ways - but the coercive nature of maternity home isolation is still present. Maternity homes with adoption "counseling"
mean that more families will be separated so the babies can be sold off for adoption.

Adoption from foster care?

2005-05-20T13:19:00.000-05:00

Adoption from foster care?

Interested in adoption from foster care? Look at this article on Adoption Photolistings and the associated shenanigans of United States child protective services.

Read "How Poverty Separates Parents and Children: A Challenge to Human Rights". This study by ATD Fourth World - with forewards by United Nations and UNICEF, includes a description of how United States child protection system (CPS) separates family members. Discusses 1997 Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) and it's contribution to the "unfair dissolution of many families"...States that "A child in the United States blames her parents for not protecting her from the child protection system."
Interested in reading a personal story about older child adoption and adoptions from CPS and the effect it can have on a family?
Be sure to read how the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) contributed to tearing one family apart: Adoption and Safe Families Act Tears Family Apart. Denying a non-cusdodial parent's constitutional rights to the care, custody and control of their child is just one method used to obtain "adoptable" babies and children and meet the state quotas of children adopted from foster care.

"Birthmom" Blog

2005-05-19T08:38:00.000-05:00

I'd just like to direct your attention to this "birthmom blog". It seems someone is whining about the baby trade again!

Separating family members to get babies for adoption - well that is pretty sick, isn't it?

Dear Birthmother, Birthmothers Day, entrustment ceremonies - ha. No adoption-related topic is "sacred" on this "birthmother blog":

Infant Adoption Awareness Training? It's such a tragedy. "We don't FORCE anyone to surrender their nice healthy infant son or daughter," they rationalize. "We don't lock moms up in maternity prisons like we used to - we just give them 'an option'. If the moms are stupid enough - or don't have resources - of course we'd be glad to use their baby for adoption."

Adoption PRAYERS?

2005-05-18T18:06:00.000-05:00

Adoption PRAYERS?

I've been sufing the web and started to find this: Adoption PRAYERS

Dear God, are people really praying that some family might be torn apart so that they can get a baby to adopt? Yes - they ARE:

"Christian adoptive family praying for another baby. Seeking 'birthmother' wanting to make an adoption plan."

God, PLEASE - these people already took one baby from her mother. A naive or vulnerable mother is not a "birth object" meant to make babies for rich people....I pray no more babies and moms are separated for adoption

"Prayer for a Couple Adopting a Child"

God, PLEASE - stop the adoption pimps - help keep your little blessings with their own moms.

"requesting prayer about our adoption"

"This is a Spirit-Filled Prayer for Christian Adoption..."

and then finally

"A site for people searching for family members lost to adoption."

God, PLEASE. Help people to understand that babies need their moms and moms need their babies

"Please pray that our adoption will happen soon. Lord we ask you to lead all of us involved in the adoption."

God, PLEASE. Don't let any more naive moms fall into the hands of adoptionists.

"God answered my prayers, and I became a mother

through His miracle of adoption."

God, I'm sure if you meant for people to be adopted then you would have set an example and your son, Jesus Christ, born to an unmarried teenage mother would have been adopted and turned into the "birthson" of God rather than the Son of God.

God, children are not meant to be removed from naive parents and sold.

No money - not even donations - should be recieved for this bogus "charity" of getting people babies to use. God, in the news every day now I see the baby-brokers promoting "open adoption" and bragging how they are getting more babies away from their mothers for people to use.

Not a single one of these babies was in danger of abortion when she was adopted - EVERY ONE of them was already born. Every one of their moms cried. Some commit suicide after their babies are adopted-out.

God, if we human beings are all equal in your eyes, why do some moms get used - this most horrendous way - by sterile people?

The sterile people say they "appreciate the mom's sacrifice". What if the mom they've used becomes infertile - Would the sterile people be so kind and return the "favor" if they happen to get pregnant afterwards?

God, please help people to see that babies are not for sale or transfer, nor are the raw materials to make babies intended for sale or transfer.

Adoption prayers? This is MY prayer - for the end of the government-funded and church-sponsored programs to provide infertile and gay people with babies to use for adoption.

"Birthmoms" or "Birth" Moms?

2005-05-18T15:14:00.000-05:00

"Birthmoms" or "Birth" Moms?

Both terms - "birthmoms" and "birth" moms - translate roughly as "suckers!" People who get babies from China or Korea often have a "gotcha day" - to commemorate the day they brought "their" baby home.

For a "birthmom" (aka birth object) in a domestic infant adoption, HER "gotcha day" is the day she signs the papers. The day the mother signs the papers is "gotcha" day -as in "Ha, ha - we gotcha!" day. From that day on her life - being known as the mother of her own child - is over. She is officially known as a "birthparent", "birthmoms ", "birthmother", "lifemother", "lifemothers" birth object - an incubator - and there is no going back. Her baby will cry for her and she will be able to do nothing to comfort him - she has been kicked out of his life so some infertile or gay person can have the chance to "parent". "Birthmom gothcha day" - hmm.

Dear, Dear Birthmom - we could really USE you.

See also: Adoption Blog

"Our" Birthmother

2005-04-29T18:51:00.000-05:00

"Our" birthmother. Hmm. "Our" birthmother.

This is an odd thing to say. Sort of like "our" Bessie (the house wench, of whom we are ever so fond - sarcastically speaking - as long as she serves us well).

I surfed the web on "our birthmother" and got 50,000 websites. Some of the websites had "the birthmother" in addition to "our birthmother". It's as if the mother of a child became so incredibly un-related to him that she is an object, sort of like being only the oven a pizza comes out of. Thus the mother is called a "birthmother" (aka birth object) and furthermore she is not viewed as connected in any way to her child. The consumer consumes the pizza, the baby, the product - and to heck with the baby production equipment.

"To our shock and dismay, our birthmother changed her mind."

"Will you continue to see the birthmother?"

"The birthmother became a real person with feelings and fears."

"...on April 1st, April Fools Day, we got the call about our birthmother."

On a book review: "One reviewer here talks about her adoptee's mother in terms of "our birthmother," a demaning title indeed that makes it seem as though the true mother is merely a breeder for the adopters." - Wow, I guess I'm not the only one who's disgusted.

"...despise our birthmother for changing her mind."

Of course, not all of the websites had "our" right in front of "birthmother". Instead, some emphasized the adopters' ownership of the baby, thus insulting the motherhood of the real mom:

"Dear Birthmother, Thank You For Our Baby" - that's pretty sick. Why not "Thank you for your baby?" I suppose such honest wording would make it too obvious that it is wrong to take a mother's child.

A little better (at least they are acknowledging the relatedness between mother and child in a minor way): "... Beth's birthmother .."

"We gave our birthmother this bracelet after she left the hospital." What - a TRINKET in exchange for her offspring?

"...as we wait for our birthmother to give birth,..." Do they OWN this woman even before she signs the papers?

"Our birthmother is due on April 16th, and I'm not producing any milk yet. I would love to look into donor milk as opposed to formula." Lady, maybe you can get "our birthmother" to milk herself and help you out. That way, her child will get the breast milk designed for him.

This one is precious in it's knowing depravity:
"Tonight we finished the final draft of our "Dear Birthmother" letter, wherein we attempt to convince the mother of our child-to-be to give us her baby."

Finally an adopted person speaks from the viewpoint of adoptees: "...we ourselves may be afraid of the Truth that we might find there, afraid of being turned away by our birthmother, or afraid that..."

It's an ironic tragedy, isn't it? A mother is told to "do the right thing" and "if you really love your child, you'll give him up" - and then her child is terrified she might not want him.

"Our" birthmother. Hmm. "Our" birthmother.....

Promoting adoption - like promoting divorce?

2005-04-22T09:43:00.000-05:00

Promoting adoption - is it like promoting divorce?

Adoption professionals - and our United States government - are very busy promoting adoption. There are many people hoping to find a baby to adopt. People are putting wealth and their own interests first and they "just forget" to have children. Singles and gays also hope to adopt - and even demand the "right to adopt".

The real problem with our society (speaking facetiously) is all those kids growing up with their real grandparents, siblings and their real mom or dad. Promoting adoption will help stop this ugly practice of kids being raised by their own parents and it will also help adoption professionals to go home with a salary increase.

Divorce may separate family members, but adoption tears natural families apart. When there are no real orphans, promoting adoption means promoting family separation.

The government does not promote divorce to make husbands available for women who are looking for the husband of their dreams - and neither should the government make more desirable babies available for people hoping to adopt.

But sadly, the US government DOES promote programs designed to make more babies available for people who want to adopt. Thus, the government promotes the breakup of family - the natural family.

Usually people use the euphemism “adoption” and say someone is “hoping to adopt”, rather than saying straight-out that these people “want to get someone else’s healthy infant son or daughter to use as if she was born to them.”

What, these adopted kids have real family? Impossible. Everyone knows adopted “children” came out of a magician’s hat, eagerly anticipating the opportunity to serve the needs of “loving” people hoping to adopt.

If you are pregnant, look for real help to keep your son or daughter.

Promoting adoption? Adoption professionals promise prospective adopters a "forever child" whom they claim will be "as-if born to" the adopters. Will the promises made by the baby-sellers hold up? Take a look at this website where natural moms are adopting back their children.

Wow, that's kind of shocking. It's such a shame the families couldn't stay together in the first place - I guess they might have if it weren't for all the promotion of adoption.

Dear Birthmother, I want a baby

2005-04-20T13:37:00.000-05:00

Article: Why "Dear Birthmother" Letter and Solcitation to get Babies for Adoption Must be Outlawed

Adoptive Mother Rant:

It's so hard writing and re-writing "teenage mothers and single mothers - surely I am better than they are. When will the Republicans decide to lock these unwed bitches up and just take their babies and give them to someone older and more stable? Maybe the new Pope will promote aiding the infertile. There are too many grandmothers and grandfathers helping with their grandchildren. It's SICK, isn't it? My kids are going to have nannies, lots of nannies. No kid wants to have to spend time with her grandma.

Dear Birthmother - ha! I can hardly wait to get a baby and the birthmother that birthed her can just get lost as far as I'm concerned. She can't be any good if she's got such low self-esteem she's going to just ditch her own child.

It's true, I can't have children because I had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease following an abortion. That's how I know that abortion is bad - I really regret my abortion. It hurts terribly losing a child like that, even when they are unborn. So somebody better give me a baby. I deserve a baby. Dear Birthmother, where are you? You'll never regret giving me your child.

Article: Why "Dear Birthmother" Letter and Solcitation to get Babies for Adoption Must be Outlawed

It'll Hypnotize You!

2005-04-13T17:36:00.000-05:00

Read about the Known Consequences of Separating a Mother and Child for Adoption.

Read Open Adoption: The Wall to see how families may be affected when a child is adopted out.

Then read on...

It'll Hypnotize You!

"Get away from that TV - It'll hypnotize you!" cautioned my father when I was growing up. It seemed to me he was saying that "Leave it to Beaver" and "Gilligan" might infect my mind. At that time we still had a black and white television. I recall many commericals with men proudly talking about how women could "get whites whiter" or women telling how they kept their hands soft by using a particular dish soap. And of course there were the silly zebras and Fruit Striped Gum. "Leave it to Beaver" had it's own message, advertising the "family unit".

In later years there began to be more shows about divorced and single people. Why no shows about people living in communes, or extended family? According to a book I read it is because there was no marketing opportunity if communes were "advertised". People who got divorced multiplied the number of households, multiplying the number of housewares, funishings, lawn mowers. Divorce was GOOD in terms of a marketing plan.

Today, adoption and infertililty services are a big thing on television. Adoption services are growing and buying and selling human sperm and eggs to make babies is popular. Babies, sperm and eggs are solicited -young naive college men and women told they will be heros helping people who "can't have their own" child. It's funny, they don't say to people - "Hey, these people waited too long to reproduce, or they consider a pregnancy to be too much trouble to bother with. They may see your child as a bother as well, once the initial thrill of adopting this exotic human pet wears off." But if they did, they wouldn't sell many "services", wouldn't be able to create so many human beings, cut off completely from one or both sides of their own family.

Most people in America see adoption as a positive thing, and don't consider the horrendous consequences to a mother of losing her own son or daughter, and in many cases not even knowing whether her child is alive or dead. She is told to "just know your child is alright", sort of like some weird religious accept-it-on-faith thing. Meanwhile her child may have been purchased (under the guise of "adoption services") by a molester looking for the dedicated, trapped prey that adoption can provide him. Recently in the news was a baby adopted by drug dealers - and the adoption agency defended the adopters "right to adopt" fiercely - really they were protecting the agency's "right" to sell children.

"Best for the child" is a euphamism for "purchased by unrelated caregivers". "For their own good" is why babies must be deprived of their mothers and mothers deprived of their beloved sons and daughters.

Where sperm and egg donors are concerned - and embryo adoption - the "givers" need only be duped so they don't realize the effect that being sold by their parents - and never knowing one side of their family - might have on their offspring. Well, if adoption is best for a child, it seems that unrelated caregivers must ALWAYS be best.

Get away from that TV, from the radio, from the news media! Are you being "hypnotized"? Get away from all of these media sources that promote family separation. But then there is the church - and family separation is promoted there as well. How strange - because Christian churches do stand up against egg or sperm donation. But when they PROMOTE adoption at the same time, it's no surprise why no one can figure out WHY it's so bad to create orphans. Social workers at "Christian" agencies have been very busy, extracting small human beings from their own families to "give" to the infertile.

Breast milk and adoption

2005-04-11T18:14:00.000-05:00

Today in the LA Times was a story about people who had adopted and were having a hard time finding breast milk so the babies could have the best start.

I'm a little slow, but bear with me...the moms of these children are being told that their infant sons and daughters will be better off with strangers hoping to adopt. Yet the mom has exactly what her baby needs - breast milk designed especially for her baby and the comfort and security of his/her own mother.

The mom is the one who can provide her child the best start in life. A baby does not need a Ferari, a post-graduate school education at Harvard or an ocean view - she needs her own mother. Her mother will probably finish college, with or without a baby - if anything having her own baby to look after will spur her on - while losing her child may drive her to drinking - or suicide.

If you talk to dog breeders they will tell you it's too traumatic to separate puppies from their mothers at birth - or even for many weeks afterward. The same thing is true of human babies. Yet, to meet the demands of the adoption market, babies are removed from their loving (if naive) mothers all the time.

Dear Birthmother letters? It's unbelievably sick to separate babies from their mothers. Learn about the consequences of unplanned pregnancy and adoption on mothers and babies.

Open adoption is promoted as an alternative, because it is considered easier for the adopted-out kids. Good grief, is it so difficult to help the real moms and dads?

Hear what adopted persons (not longer cute little kids) have to say. Hear what moms who have been used as if they were nothing more than a placenta have to say. In the future, help keep natural families intact!

Feminists against Reproductive Rights

2005-04-10T16:29:00.003-05:00

It's bizarre and disturbing how few feminists in the United States are willing to stand up for naive women who have so little support from their communities and are losing their own sons and daughters to adoption. Having one's firstborn child - or any of one's children - taken is supposed to be one of the most horrendous punishments possible - I'm sure it is very traumatic and the pain never really goes away.

Rickie Solinger wrote the book Beggars and Choosers which told of the government mandate to get babies for adoption from single white mothers in the 1950s- early1970s.

There have been some Science Fiction books that allude to the way that people's minds are manipulated and babies obtained for adoption. Stephen King's "Storm of the Century" movie is a bit long...but in the end shows the nature of adoption. In the movie, the community, isolated from help, decides that a child must be offered up - sacrificed to the prospective adopter who insists he must have a child to raise as his own. This horrendous adoption "choice" is based on pressures and threats by the adopter (adoption industry?). There is a sort of lottery...and in the end, the father - who objects vehemently to the whole thing - gets no choice at all. Later on, he sees the adopter and his son - who by then has been turned against his real father.

The book "The Giver" by Lois Lowry states that "birthmother" is a job title and "birthmothers" have the lowest status in society.

The problem is that some people today accept that there is indeed a "job" that is making babies for people. "Mother" no longer indicates relatedness, but is often used to denote a person who has purchased another mother's child under the guise of adoption "services".

With Mother's Day coming up, the use of women as mere breeders - just like livestock - becomes an issue. "Open adoption" is now offered as a way of getting more babies. The risks of "open adoption" for the mom and her other children is not mentioned. And, although there are moms who have recently given up a child who tell how happy they are to provide a baby for someone else, you rarely see a mom who has lost a child 15 years ago tell how great it is. It's not great. It's sad and it hurts.

So, feminists. While you rail against oppression remember this: Losing your own child to adoption is easily as bad as rape, low wages, or women being held down in other ways.

This Mother's Day, remember the moms who have been used - as slave women were used - to produce babies for "sale" or use by others.

Feminists against Reproductive Rights

2005-04-10T16:29:00.002-05:00

Feminists against Reproductive Rights

2005-04-10T16:29:00.001-05:00

Feminists against Reproductive Rights

2005-04-10T16:29:00.000-05:00

Orphan Trains

2005-04-06T15:35:00.000-05:00

Motivated by the need for labor in the Western United States, from the mid-1800s to the early 1900s the children of poor immigrants were taken and then shipped out on trains to be "adopted" or indentured by people along the route. Some were treated like servants, others were treated like slaves. A few were lucky to find kindy people to live with.

According to the book I'm reading, this removal of children from their own families to be used out West could not have happened without church involvement. Once the child-transfer program was viewed as "charitable" then people thought decimating families was perfectly acceptable. Of course, calling the children "orphans" when they were not orphans helped in their cause. Using a term like "adoption" is more palatable than "servant" and so they were careful with the terms they used.

In more recent times - from the 1950s onward - many children have been taken as infants from naive middle-class white single moms. Moms are not "birth things", like a placenta to be discarded when a baby is born. Moms are human beings. But there are also siblings and other family members left behind - even in Open Adoption they may suffer horribly.

What is Family?

2005-04-04T10:25:00.000-05:00

Things are changing in the United States. People have been convinced to delay childbearing and a great many of them wait too long. As a result there is a market for infertility treatments, for human infants and for the raw materials to make babies.

In many other countries, it is illegal to pay for human sperm and eggs. Quite possibly the college students in United States are unaware that they are selling the raw materials from which their own child will result. The child of a father who sold his sperm will never have the opportunity to go fishing with his own real dad. The child whose mother sold her as an egg will never get to do fun things with her own mother and siblings.

The child of "embryo donation" may have "parents" who do not even recognize that she is an adoptee, with an incredible loss of family and heritage.

"Dear Birthmother" letters deny the real motherhood of the woman who is being used as an incubator. The mother is "appreciated" like a piece of toilet tissue is "appreciated" - she it is used then flushed away down the drain. Some moms are kept around for nostalgic purposes, not honored as their own child's mothers, but as "birthmothers" (aka "birth things"). Have you ever been to a tourist trap where they sell a shellaced piece of shit? Shit is necessary, but not highly regarded. And that is how it is with those women who are still fertile and can be talked out of their babies for adoption.

20/20 Adoption Fraud Cambodia

2005-04-02T08:44:00.000-06:00

Following the 20/20 report on an international adoption scandal in Cambodia, ABCNEWS.com received many questions from viewers.

They proceeded to publish answers to these questions provided by an organization called "Ethica" - which bills itself as "A voice for ethical adoption". Trish Maskew of Ethica suggests reforms that would prevent payments to impoverished families to get their children.

There is a large "market" for babies and children for adoption. More people are waiting too long to have children. Gays and singles also hope to adopt. Some women "just don't want to be bothered" with a pregnancy.

While it is good that Ethica opposes monetary payments for children it should be noted that not all payments are monetary. When a family is led to believe that a child will be so much better off in America that they are led to drop their child off at an orphanage "just in case" she might get adopted, that is wrong. How many of the sad kids in the orphanage are there because their families were lured into surrendering them by such a tenuous "promise" of a "better life"? How many have families that loved them very much and are suffering from the horrendous loss of their child?

In United States, there are also payments made to families to obtain healthy babies. American Adoption is advertising scholarships (to get more babies with the good DNA?), paying off credit cards, making car payments and more. Mom are led to believe they must hand over their child to repay this "kindness". This is extorsion. Even when the mom is led to believe she will be a "saint" or a "hero" for providing her son or daughter to someone else, it is wrong. See what this adoptee says about adoption. See what moms whose children have been used for adoption have to say. See how "open adoption" is used in modern times to lure moms to surrender their infant sons and daughters.

Families are not better off separated and used as a source of babies for adoption. Many moms commit suicide.

It's time to help families, not decimate them to get babies for adoption.

Adoption is for real orphans

2005-04-01T10:16:00.000-06:00

When a child has no one, then it makes sense to find the best situation for that child.

In the United States, there are many people who hope to adopt but there are few real orphans to be found that are young and healthy enough to be desirable for adoption. The answer seems to be to create more orphans for these people to use. "Orphans" are created by convincing mothers and fathers who are in a vulnerable situation that the child they love so much will be better off raised by someone else. This is all advertised as "best for the child" - and they even claim that "everyone benefits from adoption" - but in fact it is the people who sell "adoption services" who benefit as well as their clients who are looking for healthy babies.